I have a granddaughter who will be thirteen this year. We were sitting at her kitchen table the other day talking about school, boys and her friends. We have some very open and frank discussions. I do not believe in hiding the truth when it comes to my grandchildren.

“Grandpa, what was your first kiss like? Was it spectacular? Did it rock your world? Was it with Nana?”

“Claire, my first kiss was over 50 years ago. Do you want to know about kisses which were part of kissing games or my first romantic kiss?”

“I don’t care about kissing games. I want to know about your first romantic kiss, when you were dating your first girl friend.”

What follows here is what I told her about my first kiss plus a little anecdote about her aunt Sandy, my brother’s wife.

We all remember our first kiss, but do you remember all the emotions and feelings involved with it. It was a dramatic event that lives with you for years until you die. I remember my first kiss but I also remember my first romantic kiss. In my case, they were two different kisses with two different young women, one 15, the other 16. At the time, we never think about the fact that there are different types of kisses. There are romantic kisses exchanged with girlfriends and lovers and kisses that are part of games or from family.

When I was 16, I was very active in the youth group of my church. We had a Christmas party every year in the social hall of the church. The youth group had the duties to decorate the church each year for Christmas time. There were two 14-foot tall trees in the main sanctuary and a smaller one in the social hall. Lights were on the trees and many silver icicles. We used to throw them on and at each other and have fun doing it. It would take us about five hours to complete the decorating and set up. This was one the best times the youth group had all year. It started late on a Saturday afternoon and went until 10:00 pm. It included a potluck dinner and a party with a gift exchange. We all looked forward to this day. When we finished decorating the trees, we set up for our party. This year we invited our sister church youth group to join us for our party. Some of the other group arrived early to bring their gifts and help set up the food and decorations.

The night we decorated, I had the chore of attaching a sprig of mistletoe to a light inside the entrance of the hall. I was up on a ladder attaching this mistletoe sprig to a light. A young woman who was 15 came to the party. Her name was Sandy. She was cute and a cheerleader for her church basketball team. She was tall and very thin with strawberry blond hair. She stood watching me with her friend Wendy.

Sandy looked up at me and said, “You realize that you and I are under the mistletoe?”

I looked down at her and said, “Yes I do. What are you going to do about it?”

Suddenly, I felt the ladder move and wobble. Sandy climbed the other side of the ladder to get to me. She got up opposite me, put her arms around me and kissed me hard and long on my lips. Sandy was a year younger than I was at the time and was from a different youth group we invited to party with us. She was a lively and daring girl. The funny thing was that over time she started dating my younger brother and became his wife. They are still married, but I can claim that I was the first man she ever kissed to this day 50 years later.

When I descended the ladder and put it away, I came out and stood looking up at the mistletoe and Wendy came up and kissed me. Sandy kissed me again as well. This was a good night and starting to get better, I thought. My brother watched laughing at me. He had no desire to meet or mingle with these girls. I had two girls with me that night. I was king of the world.

That was my first kiss. It was nice but was just more of a prank or memory but certainly not my first romantic kiss.

Shortly after that party, I was walking to school with a friend, when a young woman came up behind me and slapped my back. Her name was Susan. She had been at the Christmas party at my church. Susan was friends with Wendy and Sandy. She went to the same school as me. We walked back and forth to school every day. I walked by her house to get to school not knowing that she watched me and liked me a lot. She was 16 and a cheerleader too. She was average height, very well proportioned with long curly brunette hair. As time went on, we spent more time together talking about school, church and music. One day, she asked if I had seen the top ten record list. I told her I had all the records, and asked if she would like to hear them in order. These records were 45-rpm size not LPs. I went home got the records and walked back to her house where we played them on her hi-fi. We sat close together on a couch in her den playing the records. We poked each other and just jabbed at each other. I went home that night feeling special. I had a girl friend.

As time went on, we dated and went out together with our particular youth groups. These groups planned events for just about every Saturday night. It was a way to spend time together as a group dating safely. I drove my brother and his girl friend Sandy and my girl friend Susan around and stayed with the group. I felt strongly that this girl was the one for me and wanted to go to the next level. When we walked to, from school, and in church we held hands. We hugged, but never kissed in her den. We dated steadily for two months.

I wanted to kiss her but it scared me to death. I never kissed a girl I liked. It was a huge step for me. Every time I thought of it my heart raced, a feeling of dread came over me and I started to shake. My thoughts were racing in my head, “What if she did not like me? Am I doing the right thing? Will she kiss me back? Should I ask her if it was alright to kiss her or just steal a kiss?” I was a nervous wreck. In talking with friends who dated, they told me they had the same feelings before their first kiss.

One night, as we were saying goodbye, I stayed a little longer on her porch. The lights were off and it was dark. We talked for about 15 minutes. I carried a stack of 45-rpm records on my thumb and it began to hurt. At that moment, I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. My head moved closer to hers and my lips sought hers. Our lips touched briefly and we parted quickly unsure what we were doing. We giggled at it, but stopped abruptly. It felt wonderful. All doubt and fear flew out of my mind and her arms went around my neck pulling our lips together for a much longer and deeper kiss. When that second kiss was over our breathing was heavy but we wanted more. Over the next 15 minutes, we kissed and could not stop. It was as if we wanted to kiss forever. The light on the porch flashed on and off as a signal from her father, that time was up and I had to go home. Over the next months, we kissed a lot and became steady dates. I never forgot that time although the exact date was gone. We went steady for almost two years until I went off to the Navy and Viet Nam. She sent me a ‘dear john’ letter and went on to have several romantic failures.

The things I remember were the feelings of fear, curiosity, love, wonder and mystery of desiring the presence of another person so much. It was all new to me and I grew up so fast after that. All my male friends I hung around with became less important. Other couples became friendly and we double dated. It was a good time being young and an experience I never forgot.

Today as I told this story to my granddaughter, my heart raced from the memories. I smiled at thinking of Susan again. I wondered what happened to her and felt like trying to connect with her again. I never did, but I still think about her. I do not believe I ever forgot the first girl I ‘loved’ or my first kiss.