Well I had my first date using the ads in the newspaper and it was a fiasco. Nevertheless I tried again and after a few phone conversations with various prospective wanna-be girlfriends I arranged to meet a woman that was closer my own age at a local coffee shop in downtown.Why this one? She sounded interesting.

I waited about half an hour before she arrived and it was worth it. She was attractive, open, friendly, intelligent and possessed a great sense of humor and I thought that my search was finally bearing fruit, but I was wrong. About half an hour into the conversation I discovered that she was a true sports fan, or should I say hardcore fanatic.

I listened as she bubbled on about how great our teams were and if winning or losing they always needed our support. She then showed me the earrings she wore bearing the logo of the home team and according to her they cost about a week's pay to have them made to her specifications.

It seemed she never ever missed a game and held premium season tickets to all the hometown games and would even travel out of state to see them if the distance was not too great. I quickly lost interest and politely informed her that I disliked sports and nothing could make me spend good money watching them or purchasing their merchandise.

When she crooned that she was sure she could change my mind, I knew the date was over. I thanked her for the conversation and assured her that there was nothing physically, mentally, financially or sexually she could do to make me sports fan. I paid the bill and departed

I responded to a few more messages in my voice mail and based on what I heard they did not warrant a return call and I quickly became disgusted with using the local newspaper ads. I decided to let my current subscription run out and not bother to re post my ad.

I then received a string of phone messages over the course of a week from unknown females telling me to give their friend Shelly a call , according to them she was exactly what I was looking for. Well about a week later I received a call from the mysterious female named Shelly, and after a few lengthy conversations we decided to meet on Wednesday.

She lived in a very upscale part of the suburbs in a beautiful split level ranch. I rode my Harley to the meeting at her house at her request because she had informed me that she had a passion for motorcycles. I knocked on the door and was blown away by the figure of the woman that answered, she looked exactly like the singer Cher did back in the 70's. I was invited in and met her family, a teenage daughter and a 10 year old son.

The daughter was very pretty but had just had a run in with the law due to curfew violation and then fighting with the officers that brought her home, she was soon to appear in juvenile court. The son was a spoiled brat that would have benefited from a good spanking, but it seemed that Mom was not the strict disciplinarian that her ex husband was. Though divorced he used to stop by weekly as he had visitation rights and helped her correct any behavioral problems in his offspring. That was until he broke the law and wound up in a nearby maximum security prison.

She was really interested in me and we set a date for lunch for the next Sunday as it would take her that long to line up a sitter. So next Sunday arrived and astride my Electra-Glide I motored up to her door. I was shocked to see her wearing a skirt as it was her suggestion that we take the bike. She informed me that the skirt was loose enough to allow her to straddle the bike, and besides that way I could get a good look at her legs. Well I got a look and so did all the other males driving down the road that day, many a driver pulled beside me to give me a thumbs up at the sight of her nylon covered legs.

Lunch was at a restaurant in the famous Flats area of Cleveland along the Cuyahoga River. We enjoyed a great meal and the conversation was very good as we covered a variety of subjects. First and foremost was that she too was looking for a serious relationship and sick of meeting losers.

Back at her house she dismissed the sitter and we sat on her patio where we shared kisses, but they failed to fire up my engine. She was ready to do it right there and then and she even pointed out that the picnic table could be used for a quick tumble because going into the house might wake up her kids.

Now under normal circumstances I would have jumped at the chance, but the memory of the lady that had broken up with me was still haunting my sub-conscious and my libido shifted into neutral. Shelly sensed the hesitation on my part and it was decided not to have another date, a wise decision.

That was it. I stopped searching for love in all the wrong places, namely the newspaper ads. If I didn't meet someone on my own, then I was prepared to go it alone.