It had been an excellent year for the haunted house project and I enjoyed some notoriety as a result of the house's reputation. I had been interviewed for an article that appeared in the paper along with an excellent picture of myself.

 A local TV station set up a shoot at the airport. They were there to film Dracula's arrival to kick off the haunted house project. I  steppped off the jetway doors accompanied by a bevy of United Airline stewardesses. That's what they were called back then and everyone of them was a 10.

Now prior to the opening I had cut some commercials at a local radio station and because I got along so well with the program director and Morning man that I was invited back a week later to spent the morning on the air with him. This was as close to being a radio personality as I ever got. 

We chatted and took calls from his listening audience between songs and I talked about the project and what the patrons could expect ,directions,costs and the history of the place.

 Later that morning when the host asked what I was going to do when the house closed in a few weeks I responded that I was heading to Florida for some R and R. When he asked if I was going alone I said I was, but then added as an after thought,

"Unless one of your female listeners wants to go with me." 

That comment opened the floodgates of calls, and oh the calls we got. There were times my microphone had to be switched off because I couldn't stop laughing. Although some of the female voices sounded sincere I didn't not offer them with any hope of going. As most of you know the looks don't often match the voice. 

The show ended and we went to his office to grab his coat and head out to lunch. We bumped into his secretary as we were walking out, she stopped me and handed me a note. Apparently this female wanted me to call her and according to his secretary the caller sounded really interested in going with me. She however wanted to be taken seriously so she didn't call the on the air number.

What the heck I thought, so took a minute and called the phone number. A sultry female voice answered and when I identified myself the voice brightened, she introduced herself as Beth and she sounded really happy that I called.

"So, would you like to meet face to face and discuss our tentative travel plans?", she asked. 

"Just name a place you will feel comfortable and I will meet you."

She asked me to pick a spot, so I gave the impression that I was pulling the name out of the air. In reality it was a place I frequented. I knew the owner and staff and they would have my back if this was a set-up.

I arrived about 10 minutes early, so I took a seat and ordered a drink. When she entered the room and walked toward my table every male and some female heads turned to watch her, she was that stunning. I stood and formally introduced myself and asked her to take a seat while I took in the whole picture.

Long flowing blond hair cascaded down past her shoulder. A  tight rust colored silk blouse that was unbuttoned just enough to see the tops of her breasts as they threatened to bubble over her sexy black bra.

She wore a tight black short skirt that rode up as she sat to reveal long sexy legs clad in black pantyhose, the tops of then gave the illusion that they were nylon stockings. She placed a drink order with the waitresses that appeared, and while waiting for our beverages to arrive she started the conversation.

"So you're really heading to Florida?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Now you're really looking for someone to go with you or was that all "shtick" done for the audience?"

"No, I am really looking for someone that wants to go."

"Then I would like to apply."

"What are your qualifications?"

"Well I swim, water ski, scuba dive and look great in a bikini."

Oh this is too good to be true I thought to myself. I decided to test the waters further.

"The suite I reserved only has one bed. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, not really but I doubt if we will get much sleep."

Her green eyes sparkled as she spoke and she finished her statement by licking her full red lips with a slow gesture that caused my heart to skip a beat. I could not wait to call the travel agent and change the reservations from a single to a couple.

That's when I saw a the large male approaching us from behind her back, he could have been a bodybuilder due to his looks and build. He stopped at our table and Beth looked up at him.

"Again?" was all he said to Beth.

At that point Beth got up and grabbed her purse and left. I stared open mouthed at her departure and was about to go off on this large stranger for ruining my chances of a great travel and possible bed partner.

"You Drac?" he asked in a very friendly voice as he took a seat, "I heard you on Vince Diamonds show this Morning saying that you were looking for a travel partner."

"Yes, that's correct"

Well unfortunately that woman is my wife."

He pulled out his wallet and extracted a wedding photo of him and Beth in wedding garb. I could only stare at the photo in an uncomprehending way. He went on to inform me every once in awhile Beth gets this itch to stray, but he has managed to catch her almost every time prior to her departure. This time he happened to be driving up their street when he saw her car pull out, remembering the radio shows topic he decided followed her.

"Almost every time?" I repeated his last statement.

"Yeah, a few times she has spent a weekend away and I caught them upon their return."

"So I take it you educated her lover as to her status?"

"99% of them didn't know she was married by the stunned looks on their faces, and I believed them." Now the ones that knew and didn't care were shown the error of their ways."

I am sure those massive biceps, triceps and fists were great educators I thought to myself.

"So why do you put up with it?"

"Look at her. She is one of the hottest looking women in the state and what she can do in the bedroom is beyond my wildest dreams. Besides divorcing her would cost me big time, so I put up with her little idiosyncrasy."

"Now I am willing to bet money that she is hiding in the parking lot having stashed her vehicle somewhere else so I would believe she is returning home.I am also positive she will approach you with some fabricated story about us getting divorced soon, it is all a lie."

He then gave me a slight smile before continuing.

 "Oh, you could slip away with her, but I know you on sight.When you return our next meeting will not be so pleasant."

There was no hint of menace in his voice, there was no need. His massive size broadcast the menace for him.

"Don't worry about me, all I want to do is get out of here," I said as I stood up.

"I'm sorry for upsetting your plans, no hard feelings I hope."

He extended his hand and I took it in mine and it was like shaking hands with a flesh covered brick. I exited out the back door and sure enough I was about 3 cars from where I parked when Beth suddenly appeared.

"Did that asshole leave?"

"Yes, he left."

"I hope you didn't believe him. We are getting divorced and I just wanted to get away before the proceedings began."

All I could only stare at her as she lied in a such a smooth and convincing fashion. When she finished I told her that I was withdrawing my travel offer.

"This kind of hassle I don't need, " informed her

A look of anger crossed her face.

"If you don't take me with you I will go home and tell my husband that you grabbed me in the parking lot, tore off my clothes and forced yourself on me in the back of your car and that you laughed when I begged you to stop."

"Go for it," was my only response as I got in my car and left.

On future radio shows I was very careful on how I joked to the listening audience.