One day, Jim the weekend cleaner was hired by a rich young man to clean his weekend. Jim arrived at the young man's house on friday at 3:00pm and was ushered into the dining room.

"It is time to begin the sacred ritual of the banana of Pisang Raja!" exclaimed Jim.

Jim got into his Llama-skin enchanting coat and began to throw pixie dust at the three large goats that sat in the corner on a bed of phlegm and orange skins. The room went dark for a moment, then began to glow with the colour of argon and puke. The west wall of the large room began to creak and break, and before the young man's second mouth could open, the wall exploded into a million tiny cupcakes before revealing the library of Russian dictionaries.

As the dust settled, a tall wizard walked from the library.

"Hello all!" he declared, "I am the man who lives in your library and I will be needing some doorknobs that have been used to produce ale in the traditonal way in order to commence the cleansing process..."

NOTE: This story will continue, so stay tuned for "The man who lived in a library, Chapter Two: the awaking of Senior Horse of the Pancreas Province."