Man it’s hot today! One of those fry an egg on the side walk August killers. No breeze either. Look that dead dog is still there in the ditch. Boy, is it bloated up now! It’s been five days. Surprised it hasn’t popped yet in this heat.

Later…

Sure be glad when I can get back to the warehouse and chill in the AC awhile. These deliveries are fun but that sun is scorch’in! Wish the AC worked in this van but at least I’ve got good old two forty.

Now why is that big red Chevy tailgate’in me like that? I speed up; she speeds up. I slow down; she slows down. Look, now I can’t even see her grill line! Come on lady! Give it up already. Now she’s so close I can’t even see her in the rear view. If I didn’t know she was there I wouldn’t have a clue! I don’t need this aggravation on a day like this. Too hot for this crap!

Maybe I should give her the old super stop. Nah, this is a company van. Can’t afford to pay for it, she’d never stop in time. Hey, wait a minute. Isn’t that dead dog up ahead there on the right? Sure nough’! That sucker is all bloated and ready to blow. If I edge over and nip it just right…

Got it! Did you hear that thing pop? One big old BLOOP! Look, white goo chunks, just all kinds of gook just spewin’ out! Like an eight inch fire hose of puke! That dog is just flattened right out now. What a stink! I didn’t even get hit and I’m gagin’.

Look, in the rearview! She’s got that crud all down the side of her car. Now she’s got a two tone, red and rot! Bet she had her windows open for air too. That outa’ back her off! Look at her she’s in shock! Her face is just blank, like she can’t believe this is happening. Oh ho, now she smells it. Look at her choke! Oh she’s mad! Her mouth has that tight jaw, straight lip. She’s hot! Smokin’ hot!

Oh god,my sides hurt from laughin! Oops gotta steer somehow. Bet she never forgets this deal ever! She sure backed off though. I hope she doesn’t follow me. Oh good she turned off. Probly’ lookin’ for a car wash!