I try so very hard to understand. Why? Why me? Then why not me? So confused. I must do better. You see, the last three weeks my health has bothered me. Why try to move when it hurts so bad? I have to get better. For me. I don't have you anymore. Only me. I'll take my meds and sleep longer. Maybe when I wake. I'm sorry I am rambling. I'll fight some other time.