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Quote by rolandlytle
Quote by MagnificentBastard
I just had some of the best bubble gum gelato. I wonder if it is made with real cats named bubble gum?


Eating cat gelato!? Is your name ALF? Worldmeter is a reference I often use. Why would you not want a big-ass bar on your bike? Are you a teetotaler? Alfred Hitchcock is one of the top five greatest directors of all time. BTW the squirrel's name was Phat Gus.


If I add a Easy Rider sissy bar, I could put xmas light on it. How cool is that?

ALF. Loved that show. Sarcasm was good.

BTW, Gus has nipples. Yup. Got Verbs attention. It was funny Roper felt guilty for body shaming a squirrel only to discover squirrel nipples are sex specific and Phat Gus was actually in the family way. Surprised PC police didn’t petition to have his channel removed and PETA didn’t force sensitivity training on Mark. But we all know, nothing goes splat like a squirrel, cuz they don’t go splat. They can glide and gyro themselves into position for a landing from any height. Kinda like someone I once knew.

True Story: Hitchcock threw birds at doors to try to get their beaks to stick into the surface. While in the Navy, Larry was a furry and secretly dressed as a squirrel on the high seas. And Rump, yes dear Rump, was dishonourably discharged for trying to see how far squirrels can fly. Instead of shells, he stuffed those long barrels with squirrels. When he put one through his CO’s Edsel’s windshield, Rump was quietly removed from duty. And this is how Larry and Bill met. Over drinks. Talking about their good old squirrel days. Explains why both are a bit squirrelly. Long way for a poor punchline.

Does this place have any Viking elixir?

Mead, please. With a side of calico kitty bubble gum gelato.
Quote by Rumple_deWriter
PING!

Welcome back and congrats on the new bike. Kept thinking about you during the PGA while pulling for 'Lefty'.

Later, Inspirators.


I strike the little ball on the port side as well. Just a coincidence, I suppose, that I too love vintage port.

You were pulling Phil's what you say?

I could be wrong, or maybe it's just my deviant personality rubbing off, but I possibly misheard my daughter the other day. I didn't. One of the YouTubers I follow is a woman named, Noraly. She is from The Netherlands and her channel is called, Itchy Boots. She uses that because of her unyielding urge to move and travel. People always said she had itchy feet; if you know the expression, you know what it means. Bill, it's not a fetish. Anyway, my youngest, the girl, asked me one fine day if I was watching Icky Boobs again. I paused, fearing I'd been caught perusing an inappropriate site of cleavage nakedidity. I hadn't. I wasn't. The little rascal was just playing with words. Most certainly, a familial hazard. Itchy Boobs. Icky Boobs. Both were acceptable.

For those that are interested, attached is a vignette of 60,000 kilometers of Noraly's travels. She posted it in April 2020.




Cheap Skate Tip Of The Day: Buy day-old biscotti from your favourite Italian grocery store and get them half price. Then, you can have two without feeling guilty.
Ever heard the phrase, The Hitchcock Blonde?

Alfred was a genius. How he created the voyeuristic objectification of women for the audience is legendary. Run through the list of his stars from Melanie Griffith’s mom in birds to the beauty who married the Monaco prince, and all the rest. The many horrors of inappropriately derived sexuality and ensuing tension. He was the master.

“Norman, is your mother home?”

“Sort of,” he replies.


And if you watched the squirrel obstacle video I referenced earlier, then the mere mention of Fat Gus and nipple now is at least a double entendre to some, and a triple to others. Verbs, ya listening?
Quote by Mendalla
Well, well, well, looks who's back. Wondered who owned that damn bike out front. How's it going, you magnificent bastard you?

And, yay, kitties! Bubblegum can join the rest of our menagerie (Miss Purr, Victor, Molly the monkey).

Putting on the kettle for a green tea and grabbing some summer cookies.


I just had some of the best bubble gum gelato. I wonder if it’s made with real cats named bubble gum?

I’ve got some limoncello with your name on it. Stand by...

In the meantime, here’s what my bike looks like. I don’t think I’ll Easy Rider modify it with a big ass sissy bar, but maybe?!?

Quote by rolandlytle


I wanted to mention something today but forgot earlier. The US Covid death toll has passed 600,000 (nearing the total military deaths in the Civil War), but the number of new deaths has dropped dramatically, and more than half of all adults have been vaccinated. But yesterday, the world death tolls crossed 3,500,000. Africa, South America, and southwest Asia (especially India) deaths are still climbing. Some are predicting 5,000,000 by the end of the year. The WHO has stated that the world death totals may be 25-40% higher on a conservative estimate.

A situation I have followed during the Covid pandemic is US federal institutions. The VA has had more than 12,000 veterans' deaths. And the military death toll is at 315. That is more than the number of fatalities in Afganistan over the past eight years.

BTW all of the federal institutions (military, VA, and prisons) are not counted in the US numbers listed by the media.

I did not want to bring everyone down, so here is one of my kittens, Bubblegum.

MagBass, I enjoyed that squirrel video. Thanks!





Truly horrible numbers. The human story is being lost. Many of those passed have become numbered line items in an Excel spreadsheet. We all know people who have died. Sadly, this number crunching analytics reminds me of a John Fogerty song, Déjà Vu All Over Again. It has a line about the networks keeping score, like the Vietnam War was a game. A website called Worldometer is doing just that.

Have you followed the COVID 19-related black fungus outbreak in India? Absolutely horrible.

Glad you liked the squirrel video. Roper just released 2.0. He has many videos. Smart dude. I love the moving dart board. He never misses the bullseye. Also, glitter bombing those that prey on older adults. That was awesome.
Anything baroque and classical. Best periods ever!

Trust me. I refrained.
GoT (again) with my son. Just watched the series finale of Last Man Standing (sad to see it go) and the season, which may also be the series finale of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. It has not yet been renewed for season three.

Why are there no more Justified’s out there???

Tons of motorcycle videos on YouTube. If you haven’t seen her, check out Itchy Boots. Noraly is from the Netherlands. She travels on her motorcycle by herself around the world. She uses four GoPro’s, including a drone for stunning images.

Noraly is currently touring South Africa. Three years ago she travelled over 60,000 kilometres through Asia and Europe. Last year, her Patagonia to Alaska trip was cut short in Chile due to the pandemic. Hopefully, she returns to that leg soon.
Quote by Rumple_deWriter
20 Poetry Markets Open to Submissions this May 2021
* Copied from the free online newsletter of the Authors Publish magazine (highly recommended).

These magazines publish poetry, and most also publish other genres, like fiction and nonfiction. They’re open for submissions now, and some of them pay writers.


The Account
This literary magazine publishes poetry (3-5 poems), fiction, and creative nonfiction. All work has to have an account— “We are most interested in how you are tracking the thought, influences, and choices that make up your aesthetic as it pertains to a specific work.” They won’t publish work submitted without an account. The deadline is 1 September 2021. Details here.

MIT Technology Review: Mind/brain
The news editor of the premier tech magazine, MIT Technology Review, issued a call for poetry on Twitter. They want to publish some poetry for their next issue on the theme of mind/brain. Send up to two poems. They pay. The deadline is 31 May 2021. See the Twitter thread here.

The Boiler
They publish poetry (send 3-5 poems), fiction, and non-fiction. The magazine is published biannually. It welcomes diverse voices, and actively welcomes submissions that dismantle the power structures of white supremacy. The deadline is 15 August 2021. Details here.

Lammergeier
They publish poetry (up to 5 poems), fiction, nonfiction, and hybrid work. For poetry their guidelines say, “We seek poetry of contradiction: the poetry that finds the intimacy in the grotesque, the grotesque in the intimate, the vulnerability and fist fight. … Send us work you worry about sending anywhere else. Send us work with talons.” Their editors select one work of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction/hybrid each issue to receive a $25 honorarium. Details here.

The Pomegranate London
This is a biannual printed art and literary magazine featuring poems (send up to 4 poems) short stories, poems, and essays on artists, and was founded in July 2020. It seeks to publish and promote innovative, fresh and experimental new work from established and emerging writers and artists from the UK and internationally. All submissions must feature an artist or an artist’s tool, creation or environment in some way. Artists include, but are not limited to: writers, painters, musicians, dancers, performing artists, actors, filmmakers, artistic directors, fashion designers, sculptors, photographers. They read work year-round. Pay is £30 per poem. Each issue will also select a single poem, story, essay or artwork to receive £200. Details here.

Workers Write! Tales from the Key of C
For this issue, they want poetry and fiction from the music industry – “about music teachers, singer/band members, band managers, roadies, conductors, DJs, studio musicians, anyone who makes money making music.” Send work of 500-5,000 words. Pay is $5-50. The deadline is 31 December 2021 (or until filled). Details here.


Channel
This Ireland-based journal takes submissions of poetry (send up to 4 poems), fiction, and nonfiction from all over the world. They publish work that engages with the natural world, and have a particular interest in work which encourages reflection on human interaction with plant and animal life, landscape and the self. They also accept translations. Pay is €40/poem, and €40/page of prose up to €120. The deadline is 15 June 2021. Details here.

Thrush
This poetry journal publishes 6 times a year. Their guidelines say, “Our taste is eclectic. We want poems that move us, a strong sense of imagery, emotion, with interesting and surprising use of language, words that resonate. We want fresh. We want voice. We want craft. … Please no long poems. We prefer a poem that will fit on one page. We are not interested in inspirational poetry or philosophical musings.” Send up to 3 poems. Details here.

Liminality: A Magazine of Speculative Poetry
They are looking for speculative poems that touch the heart as well as the head; that are luminal, fluid and fantastic. This is their final reading period. Send up to 5 poems. Pay is $10 per poem. The deadline is 31 May 2021. Details here.

Eye to the Telescope: Indigenous Futurism
This is a speculative poetry magazine and they’re accepting submissions from indigenous writers worldwide. Their guidelines say, “Indigenous Futurism, a term brought forward by Anishinaabe scholar and author Dr. Grace Dillon, describes a movement where Indigenous perspectives on the past, present, and future find expression in science fiction and other genres. Possible poems in this issue could include (but are not limited to) Indigenous robots, AI, and cyborgs, star stories and space exploration, Indigenous takes on solarpunk (or any of the other “-punks”), decolonization, Indigenous technologies, inventions and innovations, climate healing and community, time travel, and/or language revitalization.” Send up to 3 poems. Pay is $0.03/word, up to $25. The deadline is 15 June 2021. Details here.

The Rupture
This magazine was formerly called The Collagist. They publish poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. Their guidelines say, “The Rupture will consider submissions of up to 6 poems and no more than 8 pages. … We enjoy reading a broad range of styles, from formal to free to experimental, and are looking to publish work that feels urgent and finely tuned.” The deadline is 31 July 2021. Details here and here.

Leavings
This is a bi-annual literary magazine for emerging poets, artists, and thinkers. They accept poetry (send 3-5 poems), fiction, nonfiction, and art. They pay $15. Details here and here.

Lake Effect
This magazine publishes poetry (send up to 4 poems), as well as fiction and nonfiction. They want poems “that demonstrate an original voice and that use multi-layered, evocative images presented in a language shaped by an awareness of how words sound and mean. Each line should help to carry the poem.” Payment is in contributor copies. Details here.

Southern Poetry Review
This Georgia-based journal is one of the oldest poetry journals in the region. They accept poetry from all over the US, and the world. Send up to 5 poems. They read year-round. Details here.

Existere
This journal of arts and literature is a publication established and administered by students at York University in Toronto, Canada. They publish poetry, fiction, nonfiction, and art from both local and international contributors. The deadline for submissions to be considered for Fall/Winter issues that are published in October is July 1 while the deadline for submissions to be considered for Spring/Summer issues that are published in June is December 31. Send submissions of up to 3,500 words. Pay is $50 (Canadian) per submission (up to $250). Details here.

The Liminal Review
This Ireland-based magazine is “a literature and arts journal (print) that is looking for the things that are made in the in-between spaces. We want your abstract feelings, your bent encounters, your thoughts on anything. The things that don’t fully fit anywhere else, we want to give them a space.” They publish poetry (send up to 5 poems), fiction, and nonfiction. Authors are paid a contributor copy. The deadline is 31 May 2021. Details here.

Oyster River Pages
This magazine publishes poetry, and they have a separate submission section for newer poets called Emerging Voices in Poetry. They champion underrepresented voices. Send up to 3 poems. They also publish fiction, nonfiction, and art. The deadline is 31 May 2021. Details here.

The Talking Book
This is an independent audiobook publisher. They also have a lit mag and podcast, and currently they’re accepting submissions of poetry, excerpts, essays, and fiction. Also, “Work with accompanying AUDIO (MP3) will be given extra love.” Details here.

Masque & Spectacle
They publish poetry (send 3-5 poems), fiction, drama, nonfiction, reviews, visual art, video, as well as music & sound installation. Their guidelines say, “We are looking for all forms of poetry, including formal and experimental work. Longer works are acceptable if the content/form necessitate and best self-editing is practiced.
New poets are as welcome as veterans. Poems that have an association to artistic works (music, visuals, performance, film, etc.) are encouraged.” They welcome a variety of voices, including the non-traditional. The deadline is 31 July 2021. Details here.

Prairie Fire: Roots & Routes
This Canadian literary magazine is looking for submissions on the ‘Roots & Routes’ theme – they’re accepting poetry (send up to 3 poems if sending for the themed issue), fiction, and nonfiction, and the deadline is 31 May 2021 for this theme, and work can be emailed or mailed. They also want unthemed submissions (send up to 6 poems; work has to be mailed, and there is no deadline specified). Pay varies; it is CAD40 for poems, and up to CAD250 for prose.


Thanks Rump.
Quote by Survivor
Quote by MagnificentBastard


BTWW, why can’t I post pictures here? I select the image icon but I’m not able to attach a picture. Anyone know?



Jeez, Ping. You have been around these sites, on and off, for years and never heard of the 20 post rule? Here:

https://forum.storiesspace.com/yaf_postst22_Twenty-posts-rule-before-you-can-post-links-or-use-our-image-hosting.aspx

So get to posting.


Thanks Dude. It didn’t even cross my mind. But in the name of fruity-flavoured, homemade alcohol everywhere, I’ll get to twenty.


PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! You Magnificent Bastard!

A big new motorcycle! Wow! That must be almost as good as having a penis!

Anyway. It's terribly good to see you. Even Talia is glad you're back - I just yelled "Ping's back!" and she yelled "Yay!" So much has happened in the last six months! I'll PM you later.

We used to do the tent in the back yard thing. My youngest spent an entire spring break living in the tent out back, back in the day.

I don't understand this strange new sport you describe. How do you say it? Gaulf? Hitting white balls with little sticks? How can that possibly be entertaining to watch? You need a real sport like baseball. The Mets won last night, incidentally. DeGrom is back! Best pitcher in baseball! Sadly, they are playing the Rockies now, meaning the game is blacked out until 90 minutes after the game is OVER. Meaning I can't even start watching til around 10, and finish around 1. Grumble.

Elizabeth, no one in that division can string together a winning record. You're in last place, but only 3 games out of first.

As for the coyotes, I haven't heard them in several days. They quit howling in the story I'm writing too. Because--in the story--they are busy hypnotizing all the neighborhood pets!!! Trying to start a revolution. I don't think that is happening in real life, but I could be wrong.

Okay, I gotta go do stuff. I'd love a lemoncello. Do you have any grape? Or root beer?

Top it off with a kaiju cookie!

***

Funny meme, Verbs. I just watched Patton a couple months ago. I laughed when I saw it again.

BTW, baseball is played with little white balls and little sticks. Golf just has more skill.

I’ve got a good pic of frosty limoncello and orangecello but I can’t post. Why dear Verbs, why???
Quote by rolandlytle
Hi, fellow Spacers!
I found two kaiju cookies in my pocket from yesterday. I will share if anyone wants one. *drops it into the cookie jar*
A bit of herbal tea for me today.

Gillian, You are too kind. I understand about your dad. I have wandered off a few times. I went missing a while back for about six hours. The police found me napping in a small park. (I guess I got tired) That rarely happens anymore. We learned a few things to keep me at home. Liz never thought about a GPS doohickey. *just realized doohickey is a real word*

Elizabeth, I liked the 'cannot sleep' cartoon.

I hope you all saw the Super Flower Blood Moon last night and maybe the lunar eclipse that caused it. It was beautiful.


Roly, Gill, my MIL is in the same territory. She and I never got along, and never, ever will, but her wandering and forgetting is concerning. My kids help ground her. But she has made it easier for me to keep my distance. Regardless, it’s really difficult to see this happen to people that people care about.

BTW, I was gardening yesterday. That picture is of me and my behind pulling weeds. Not a metaphor. Just a big, pasty-white, north Canadian arse. Butt that’s obvious, isn’t it?

BTWW, why can’t I post pictures here? I select the image icon but I’m not able to attach a picture. Anyone know?
Quote by Survivor

It appears that no one else is going to get some fresh coffee going around here... There, the pot is cleaned and the brew is perking. Y'all are going to have to at least wait for a few for the java to be ready. The hot water is ready right now.

It's a fine day out and Victor just got his morning walk. He's catching his early morning nap now. Can't get enough rest, don't you know.

How about the PGA Championship, Pingster? The old Phil winning completely. The golfers were a wee upset that the crowds got too close. Koepka especially.

And my Padres are first in the NL West. Who'd a thunk it? We'll just wait and see how long it lasts during this series against the Brewers.



The Masters was amazing to watch. The drone footage gave viewers a never-seen-before (except during last fall’s Masters) views of the storied course. To have two Japanese athletes win both the men’s and women’s championships was a story book ending. Sadly, due to the pandemic, they won’t reap the benefits during the summer Olympics. Too bad. The Japanese love their golf.

Yes, the PGA belongs in May and I’m thrilled for Phil the Thrill. I love courses like Kiawah, but I have zero emotional attachment to the course. The fourth major is still the ugly sister of the first three. And the PGA royally screwed up. We saw what happened with Tiger in 2019. Drunken fans were destined to flood the 18th fairway. They were not prepared. People may have gotten hurt.

How does a team with the best player in the world, and another arguably one of the best in the league, get punted from the playoffs, losing four straight games to a team they dominated in the regular season?

Well folks, hockey is less about skill and more about heart and tenacity when playoffs arrive. The Oilers screwed up yet again. Gretzky resigned from his ceremonial VP position the next day. The old guard is now gone. Maybe management will now have a real chance of purging the baggage of glory days gone by, and develop a team worthy of the half-a-billion dollar ice surface they play on.

Baseball? I’d rather watch paint dry. LOL.

I’ll bring some limoncello. I’ve made two batches - orange and lemon. Both are exquisite. Once Ruby red grapefruit is in season, I’ll make some of that too. Sharesies.
Quote by vanessa26
Saying my name automatically conjures me up.😉
Actually Larry told me I was mentioned

I've missed your weird crazy self.

Hi everyone.


The Green Goblin informed you? Just like Varys The Spider, Hommes de Vert has little birds everywhere. Nothing gets past him.c2JnSD8wZLwLfs05

Another video for you, Ms. Vanessa. White Stripes and now Grimes.




Verbs. My dogs, my son, and I have a full bladders. Last night it was too chilly to crawl out of the sleeping bags for a potty break.

What part of your fence do you want us to start?

Woke at 5:05 to all the birds chirping and squawking. Birds by day, coyotes by night. Sun rises and sets late up north. Damn birds. Tomorrow, I have plans for them. But today, my son has an orthodontist appointment. Braces are like thumb screws. If the boy is misbehaving, I slide the doc an extra fifty and she tightens the wires a little extra. The discomfort only lasts for a day or two, but it's worth it.

By the way, any you heard of or seen Mark Roper's videos?

The guy is brilliant. A NASA engineer and YouTuber. Science is his background, but fun is his passion. He's created things, let's say, devices, to surprise and identify telephone scammers. That was tres cool. But his backyard squirrel obstacle courses are awesome. Check out the attached video below. Supreme stuff.
Verbs, you whiny little...

Fine. Here ya go. Sheesh. Bro hug ‘n booty grab.

Hi Everyone! Gill, Rumps, LarBear, EB, DoubleD, RollyMeister, Canadian Ape Boy, and our 30+ year Ingrish teacher. Sorry if I missed anyone.

Any updates on Rachel? Damn. I popped by Red a while back. I hope she’s doing better. Any news on Tonya or Vanessa?

Only big news here is that I bought a motorbike. Honda finally made something I wanted. It’s not really anything classic or traditional. It’s more of a fusion of styles with lots of tech and nanny modes. It’s a Rebel 1100 DCT. Essentially, it’s a spirited scooter. Well, not really. It does do a sub-4 second zero-to-100 km. I call it my naked sporty cruiser. LOVE IT.

Like many, I’ve got my first COVID shot, but am now in vaccination purgatory. Got the Astra-Zeneca one, but with blood clot fears and short shipping, I wait. Can’t get another from another either. So, I wait.

Kids are well. My little boy has now reached my height. Buggar is only thirteen. He reminds me of both, constantly. The girl is becoming a handful. She is branching out. Becoming her own obnoxious preteen self. Thankfully, she hasn’t contributed to my early demise in the terrifying still of the night. I fear I may end up pleading for her to do so.

Puppies are doing well too. Both are almost nine months. After dental surgeries, spay & neuter, etc, were into both for about twelve grand. Ugh.

Bought a new 8-person tent. Pitched it in the backyard this extended long weekend. Simply fab. Laying on my super comfy air mattress as I type this, both dogs on and beside me, the boy playing some Mario on his Switch across from me, while my daughter Zooms some ballet online in the basement. Time to make dinner, I suppose. And then an early evening ride on my iron horse.

I still have no urge to write, but Verbs, I too have many coyotes near by. I’ll pee on your fence, any day, any time. You don’t even need to ask.

Take care you gnarly band of deviants.