Did I misunderstand? Was I not supposed to post here or is everyone else late to dinner?
A man has to give a lecture about sex to a local women's club, but he didn't want his wife to know so he told her he was lecturing on flying.
Two days later, one of the women ran into the wife on the street and told her what a wonderful lecture her husband gave.
The wife said, "Well, frankly I'm surprised. He's only done it twice. The first time he got airsick and the second time he lost his hat."
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Because they jump out of trees in the jungle between 2:00 and 3:00pm...
Why are alligators flat?
Because they walk through the jungle between 2:00 and 3:00pm...
How many lions can there be?
Two? Three?
Too many for me
It's not End of the Lion you see
It's End of the LINE, where you'll never be.
Banned for thinking marshmallows and Chiklets is fine dining.
Since I retired, I've worn primarily shorts or jeans.
WYR - Have dinner cooked for you at home or go out to dinner.
A man checked into a motel. There was a computer in the room, so he decided to send his wife an email. He accidentally typed the wrong address and without realizing it, sent it to a widow who has just returned from her husband’s funeral.
The widow decided to check her email, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
Her son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He read her message on the screen:
To my loving wife:
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here and we are allowed to send emails. I’ve just been checked in. How are you and the kids? This place is really nice but I am lonely here. I have made the necessary arrangements for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can’t wait to see you.
Guardians of the Galaxy
The Rock
Picnic
Shane
The Resident
Curse of Oak Island
The Blacklist