Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!
And everyone's face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
"Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He's crawling out of the duckweed!" Click!
Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn't a thing that didn't respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!
~*~Alfred Noyes~*~
A wasp once landed on my nose and asked me: "Would it sting,
If would simply settle here and watched you do your thing?"
I told him that would not be safe, because my lovely wife
Would want to kiss me near that spot, endangering his life
He told me that he would not move, because he loved the place
And if that lady came too close, he'd stick it in her face
Now I love every animal, no matter, big or small,
But threatening to hurt my wife, I don't accept at all
I hooked my finger hind my thumb, and shot him off my nose,
His lifeless body flew away and landed on a rose
And so this story ends for him, because he failed to see
That the nose of one about to kiss is not the place to be.
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
There once was a pickle who only had a nickel
His best friend was a lime who only had a dime
But the plan they devised was gonna cost a dollar
And this made the both of them holler
"What to do! What to do" We are gonna be eighty-five cents short!"
The pickle sat down and cried while the lime could only snort
Stanzas are important,
so you understand the poem,
like paragraphs in prose.
That was one,
and so is this.
It can be a word
or a whole sentence,
even half
a sentence.
I made stanzas in this,
and it could easily be a mish-mash,
of lotsoflinesjumbledandsqueezedtogether
But stanzas are fun,
so give them a bash!
Steam and simmer, boil and bubble
Fill my cauldron up with trouble
Brew me some to make them fart
Or maybe to stop their heart
Tail of lizard, spiderbrain
Seven drops of winter rain
A drink to let them fall in love
or to fall from high above
Black cat's whiskers, wings of bats
Add the hair of two black rats
Cause their minds to overload
Or become a slimy toad
Scale of dragon, leeches gut
Five small scoops of sulfer mud
Make them sick or even worse
strike them with a deadly curse
Hide yourself and shake with fear
Because the wicked witch is here...
hehehehehe.....
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Why'd you drop that in my eye
I won't sigh, I won't cry
I'm only glad that cows don't fly
~Steve Charney
I once sat by a bear
He indeed was bigger
Though he had no hair
I invited him to dinner
He ate all my pies
He broke my dishes
But when I began to cry
He took me out fishin
Now he's my friend
My hairless big bear
He help me get thin
Since my cupboards are bare
Life lives, Life dies
Life laughs, Life cries
Life gives up, Life tries
But life looks different
Through everyone eyes.
Saddle creaks
as leg swings over.
Foot planted firm
of this iron willed drover.
The ride will be long
and the cattle will move.
Dust in the air
the thunder of hoof.
Crisp is the breath
as morning sun rises.
He hopes and he prays
for no dangerous surprises.
But all will be well
this he knows to be true.
His love will await him
when the task at hand's through.
I feel like a butterfly
With overzealous wings
Flying way up high
To conquer everything
I ate a bacon doughnut,
and now I'm itching like a fudnut,
Am I allergic?
I really hope not,
or I'll kick the person who bought
them.
Can't stay long
I have to leave
Or else there'll be trouble
Like you would not believe
You see, it's walkies time
For my beloved pet
And if I'm late taking him out
He's liable to get
Stroppy and sulky
Like an awkward teenager
I'm not about to put myself
Into iminent danger
Of sulking and pouting, huffs and puffs
Having to stop what I'm doing
Is already bad enough
Without being made to feel guilty
For not paying him full attention
What that does to my conscience
I just cannot mention
So, I'm off to brave the weather:
Cold wind and cold rain
But, fear ye not
I'll be back again
In an hour or two
To enjoy the good company
Of every one of you!
Enraptured of his tortured verbiage
And swamped under vacuous tautology
He seeks to bedazzle and amaze
With convoluted phraseology
His work is incomprehensible twaddle
Presented as high-brow literature
Written to exhibit his prowess
With grammatical horse manure!
Such is the standard of his offerings
He sets out to build upon and grow it
His unassailable position of
The World’s Most Pretentious Poet.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
When I think of love
I think of you
Your sexy tush
Inside your jeans
The way I feel
When you sing
My sexy cowboy
You're all mine
It makes me giddy
It makes me rhyme
Atop the branch sat a bird
Making the sweetest sounds I'd ever heard
It's joyful melody filled the air
Spreading happiness everywhere
I felt my heart swell and fill with joy
And felt the tensions that annoy
Ease at the sound of the songbird's tune
On that golden day in June
That tree is bare now, the songbird flown
But my fondness for it has grown
As winter's chill freezes the air
And coats the tree's branches bare
With its bitter icy touch
Oh how I long so much
For the end of cold and rain
And to see the sun again
So that Spring's cycle can start anew
And there, up in the sky so blue
My songbird will alight upon that tree
And sing its song once more, just for me.
Bump
Things that go 'bump' in the night
should not really give on a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
that lets in the fear,
that, and the absence of light!
Spike Milligan.
Tickle me here
Tickle me there
Tickle me Tickle me
Everywhere
