I've always liked limericks and I'm kind of surprised, they don't have their own thread on a site like this. Why not give it a try. I'll kick off with one, I originally wrote in the random poem thread.
To resist her gets harder and harder
when she stands there just wearing her garter
when she moves with her hips
and she moistens her lips
I forget I was hired to guard her
A bodyguard's nightmare... or dream?
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
I'd like to contribute, but I suck at limericks. Can't quite get them around my head, but they are fun to read.
There's a guy from near Glasgow-something
Who can ramble about everything
but there goes nothing above
this circle's undying love
for an Aria he wants to sing
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
A charming young playboy from Mayfair
Made sweet love to his girl in a deckchair
But when the chair snapped
His youknowwhat got trapped
And the town thought he wrestled a black bear
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
I just stopped here by to say,
I hope everyone had a great holiday,
That Santa brought you nice gifts,
Like maybe a couple of fifths,
And you didn't get run over by a sleigh.
I once knew a drinker who had a moderating problem...
A guy from Glasgow, prefers limerick to haiku,
but what is he to do?
His haiku are often crap,
but his limericks are also pap.
Here's hoping people don't sue.
When the girl met a handsome young gipsy
he confessed to her that he was tipsy
he said: take me to bed
I shall be a good lad
but when my mum sees me drunk she will whip me
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
There was a young lady,
who slayed me.
A Slayer she was
and she kicked my baws,
but at least I wasn't flayed-ed.
[If you've seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you'll know that all the language in this limerick has been used at least once on the show. Just trying to be in-keeping with Joss Whedon's style... Difficult because it really is inimitable.]
Probably The Worst Limerick Ever
There was a young man called Nick,
who had a really big brick,
he built a house,
just for a mouse,
who named himself Mick.
So, Mick was a mouse,
who lived in a house,
built by Nick
who had a brick,
but where was the grouse?
Well, the grouse
had his own house,
made from feathers
and leathers
of a certain wee mouse.
So, Nick
with his brick,
built a house for a mouse,
who was eaten by a grouse,
who. for the mouse was too quick.
There once was a beautiful Kitten,
Who was absolutely cute as a mitten.
She infiltrated my heart
I know we'll never part,
Because we are Kitty & Kitten.
It ain't perfect, the meter is slightly off and the last line doesn't rhyme with the first, but I might be improving.
The words in my head keep on fighting
on the way to the surface they're biting
what ever about
they have to come out
and that's why I have to keep writing
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
When you finally find your place
Shows some class and some grace
Never tell lies
Don't overly sigh
And always remember to wash your face
~*~ did I do it right??
It makes me giggle for two reasons: It's really funny. And there was this one guy who bullied me, and thought it funny to call me a scarecrow. I remember looking at him, with his straggly brown hair, his old, worn clothes and his freckled, blotchy face, thinking you poor thing, you look more like a scarecrow than me! 
