Not guilty, your honor. It was not I who broke into the Martins houshold. I was not the one who stole the flatscreen in the living area. It was not me who broke down their seven foot tree. I did not steal the presents from underneath. My name is Santa Claus. I delivered those presents at midnight on the twenty-fifth of December. I polished the ornaments and placed a bow on their Tv. I fed the dog and gave him a bone. And...