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Always Know the Context! These are NOT “dirty” Christmas Limericks!

My annual Christmas contribution. Know the complete story before you judge something!

Santa gave out a big a whackright after an elf squeezed his sack!The elf had no reasonbut it’s Christmas seasonso Santa just cut him some slack.(He squeezed Santa’s toy sack. Delicate, breakable stuff in there. But Santa was a good egg about it.) Santa lo...

One, two ... soon he'll be coming for you. There is a darkness with which we are becoming accustomed to, and it returns every once in a while whether we want it to return or not. No matter how often it comes, or how long it lasts, we never really get used...

What do weather people know? They predict the weather for a living and generally get it wrong more than they get it right. They have been predicting big snow in Castletown for the past four winters and no real amount of snow has stuck in that amount of ti...

My Pseudonym

How I got a nickname

The name Drun is from when my younger brother was too young to say all the syllables of my name. He called me Adrun instead of Adrienne. Years later when he had a son of his own, our mother called me  Adrun to his son out of nostalgia and it seemed cute....

Waltzing Matilda

A drunk mystery woman appears at the care home social.

I had been living at the care home for a few months when the recreation committee decided to have an end of summer indoor street dance. It’s not that we didn’t have regular recreational events, we regularly had a pub night. Local musicians e.g. vocalists,...

The smell of freshly cut grass on a bright and warm summer’s day may sound like a nice thing to experience, but unfortunately for me it generally isn't. My hay fever gets so bad that medication to relieve its symptoms doesn't help me out all that much. Ha...

I have come here to stand between the sand and the sky, where reason lies. I have come to the edge of eternity to ponder a question. As the waves crash I have come to learn a humble lesson. The sand is soft as a childs memory. God? Do the waves speak to m...

Chris wasn't where he should be. He should be at work, sitting at his desk, a place which is a ten minute walk from his home, but instead he is sitting on a bus travelling through a place he does not recognize. Chris has no recollection of how it is that...

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Annie Nevins has been working as a nurse in the same hospital for almost six years and in those six years she had never come across anything particularly strange, unusual or out of the ordinary, well that was or is until right at the end of one shift in p...

'Today we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Albert Patrick Hoffman ....' speaks a priest in the near empty church of St Martin's priory. A closed coffin stands angled before the steps which lead up to toward the altar and the small attending cong...

She was the final sorrow before Avalon fell. Yet indeed Avalon fell. Oh! Queen of childhood dreams how shall my honor renew. Oh. Innocence buried. Rotten crow feast and rusted armor cannot defend your brilliant crown. I scream to God it is she who wears t...

The Worry Stone

A chance meeting at a county fair helps to heal a young man's broken life

My life fell apart when I was ten -- and that night will stick with me forever. It was mid-summer and Mom and Dad wanted a weekend to themselves. I was spending it with my grandparents -- Dad's parents. We'd had a good time with a quiet day -- just Grandm...

You find so many people are bruisingBut you, you are mostly amusingI like the way you love.You do it like a foxglove.I like the way you dance.You do it like a stance.You find so many people are runnyBut you, you are mostly funnyI love the way your hair fl...

Anonymous

The Lavender Town Dare

A high school kid dares to climb the Lavender Tower at night.

  "Go into the Lavender Tower at night," they said.   "We dare you," they said.   Obviously they'd never had the courage to try it for themselves. For the fourth time the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as something in the cold, dark room flitt...