I pause at my locker to switch out my books and binders during my appointed lunch time. I'm just about to head to the library to finish up today's homework for Calculus, College Writing, and ASL when Adam strolls up to his locker next to mine. He doesn't seem to ever change clothes. Today is another black on black on black with black leather boots. Other girls might call him "hot" or "sexy", but I just see another guy......

"Does that make more sense now?"I look down at my paper- Calculus homework that only an hour ago would have completely stumped me and had me giving up. It does make more sense. I could finish this in 15 minutes now. Easy.I nod and smile, eyes wide in surprise."Good... what time did you say you had to be home by?"I look up from my homework- almost finished, by the way- and glance at the clock. 4:45pm."Fuck! I have to be ho...

"Soundless as a Shadow I stay in my room all evening.Drawing any sort of attentionto myself would be an enormousmistake. Shh! Turn off the music.Ever now and again, Daddy leaves his own room, on a Turkeyhunt. Staccato footsteps accompanyhis muttered threats and pleas. You can't leave me. I won'tlet you. I'm not a little boyanymore. I'll go after you.Please. Don't leave me!I keep the bedside lampvery low. It sheds a pale, ...

I lay on my bed, still in my back-from-the-hospital garb. Doc Davies' instructions were "no strenuous or overly stressful activity for a few weeks, okay Missy?" I just kind of nodded and kept my snarky (and honestly rather bitchy considering how kind he's been) reply to myself, walking out into the (not-so-) welcoming arms of Mother. She played the role of Mommy very well until we got into the car. Now she's Mother again...

Ah, what is that bright light? …Where am I?  My eyes open to white walls and Mother staring down at me. Her eyes are cold, like always, but as my eyes flutter open she puts on a forced cheerful smile—showing me there’s someone else in the room and that I should put on my I love you, Mommy act. “Philena… gave us quite a scare, you did.” She brushes my hair back and for a second, I let myself relax at her caring hand on my...

“Thank you.” It’s a whisper and from right behind me. I turn to find Evangeline walking away from the kid whose locker is to my left. Adam… And he was talking to Ange? Why? “Philena—” I shut my locker and turn to him. My eyes, though dull in color, burn with an emotion I shall label as fury. “Don’t. Whatever she told you, it was probably a lie. We’re exes and exes lie. So shut up and leave it alone.” I try to stalk off pi...

I don’t head home; I just head to another park. This one’s even farther from where Evangeline lives, so there’s no way she’ll follow me here and, even if this park is closer to home, there’s no way my “parents” will find me… it’s the weekend, they never leave the house on the weekend. Unless, of course, they run out of their stash. But that doesn't happen often, so I’m not all that worried. I sit myself down on a swing, m...

Ange kisses up my neck, nibbling a little as she does so, and I know she feels me squirm. “Why what, Phi-Phi?” “Please don’t call me that. Just call me Philena.” We walk over to the table I was at and sit down next to each other. I set down the painting I’ve just finished and I hear her gasp. “Why did you leave? Why did you bully me? Why are you coming back?” I blink quickly and look up at her to see her staring at the pa...

Weekends at the house aren’t normal weekends where the teenager sleeps in and the parents leave her alone, then tease her with, “Oh my gosh, it’s alive!” when she finally wakes up around noon or one in the afternoon. No, weekends here I get up at about 7:30 in the morning, take a quick shower, get dressed in cover-ups and start walking. I don’t exactly walk anywhere in particular, but I bring my backpack with food (a coup...

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Lying in bed tonight, I pull my sketchbook out from under the bed and open it to a blank page. I have to be real sure that He’s not going to come anywhere near here that way He won’t know I’m drawing—or He’ll both take everything away and garbage my work and punish me before Mother wakes up. But He’s asleep right now, so I’m safe. I just have to listen for Him. My hands finish the strokes across the paper and I look down...

I enter the doors to my high school, a senior. First day back to school and apparently I'm supposed to be shrieking and crying like an idiot, going, "Oh my God I haven't seen you since... two days ago!" to all my friends... wait, what friends? But instead of being stupid and wasting my time, I run off to my assigned locker and empty the stuff I don't need into it- the binders and shit for my last three periods will be pic...