The heads that turn as I pass by make my back burn from the vacuum of their stares, out here under the midnight moon, and hearing all the laughter when I pass by sometimes makes me sad, as I look up and noticed the stars have turned from cherry red to blue.
Thinking that maybe they’ll get me and then again maybe they won’t and I just know it won’t be here, or tonight if it happens. There are things I could say but figure it’s best I hold my tongue and so I ain’t talking to him or them when they try talking to me. And there are times when it feels as if the mercy of God is near, when I hear those church bells ringing in the yard, and make me stop and think about whom they may be ringing for. Still there are no words to be said, with nothing to be gained by any sort of explanation, here in the dark land of the sun.
So I might just head on down to the station and catch that midnight train, feeling like I have ice water in my veins. Hearing a jukebox playin’ blues into the night as I make my way to the station through those streets that feel like they are dead and I know I can’t win but, my heart won’t let me give in. Knowing my feet are tired and my brain feels wired and wondering if I heard someone telling a lie, or was it someone’s distant cry? Sometimes I feel as if I have been plowed under, or just not knowing what to do and wonder if I have missed the final warning mixed in with all I have heard on my way to catch that last midnight train? So I guess my best bet to do is just think of her, with every second spent feeling like a lifetime and the ensuing minute seems to bring one closer to God.
Wondering if I have forgotten what she looks like, or am I just thinking of those things I want to see? Hoping her features never change, and wondering how long I can keep having it go on like this and wonder what it’s all coming to. With there being times I don’t dare close my eyes or wink, so I end up sleepin’ with one eye open. Recalling all I tried to give her, and what her heart desired, and wonder if I fell flat in doin’ that too? As I continue walking with thoughts of her in my head and wondering if she saw me if she’d kiss me or kill me? But, I know the ghost of our love is still alive and well, even if I sound and feel like a fool. And somehow I know she will be there to care and provide that softest touch that means so much, and still I feel her near when I find myself looking to the skies.
Reaching the station and boarding that last midnight train just as they are about to pull out, and this train’s not pulling any gamblers, or midnight ramblers except for myself. Sitting in my seat and closing my eyes and having thoughts about most things being truly as shallow and hollow as they seem, and wondering if when they tell me everything will be all-right, if they truly know what all-right means? Sighing and wishing I could be holding her hand and needing a touch of a form of grace from her, as the clicking on the rails begins and is rocking me to sleep in the beginning hours of the new day.
Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. April 2016 – 23