Fragments of memories seem to be surfacing from places down deep, and many a road I have been heading down and trying to find what’s in my mind with each passing day. And I know that one can become accustomed to living with memories, with there being times when I feel so alive and having my heart feel like it is opened up like a shotgun blast. Nobody seems to care where I am going or where I am from, and occasionally I am able to see the shape of things to come. A fortune teller once said I would be free and never said if it would be sooner or later, as illusion spun and cast its net.

Wondering if I can find my way to where I truly belong and if I should bare those secrets I carry, and then again we all have sins, that have marked our passage(s), through life. And having heard it said that Southern belles can be hell, just like that Mississippi queen I know. Who has occasionally come down the line with me and followed to wherever these roads have led us to be. And sometimes we both look back and see all the damage that lays behind just like those broken dreams, plans and the occasional lie that lies now underneath that road we are following. And in my dreams I can see those rays of light she brings and sometimes she gives a holy blessing to me and in the shadows she knows she is one of the few that can talk back to me, and is no wonder that when we travel together it makes us stronger, and defies the nature of the beast.

And sometimes when the moment passes me by, and there are times when I can’t turn away from where I should be going on either alone or with that Mississippi queen, knowing that she can hide there beside me with no-one knowing. Still we both know that the past is never far behind and hard to have it turn you loose once it has its hooks deep in your heart and mind. There have been many times when I have been to the edge and back again and learned to deal with those fragments of memories that have broken free and surfaced for reasons unknown. And find myself questioning if I should be better off dead or just be a quitter and give it all up and chalk it up as another fool’s errand? But, then again old habits die hard especially when second guessing one’s self, and we all carry our choices and hide all of our regrets, knowing there will be a price to be paid when they call in our debts.

Loyalty and friendship comes to that Mississippi queen and I to those who truly deserve it and though we age it’s one of the things like the truth which never changes and holds constant, and occasionally isn’t set in stone, and floats in our blood. And occasionally having a broken mirror view of things that transpired both real and imagined. With disciples waiting for any good advice that might come forth from the views breathed in as we (either together or alone), head down this road and on down the line as the Tao dictates as it should be. Wondering if those we pass ever see what they had there for them or if they just wasted their precious time as the lies in their minds tore them apart and lost control?

Needing to be free and kind of like a rootless tree, and trying not to be blinded when the sense of sight is most needed. Rising up against the faceless crowds with all the strength found, and when called out instead of running. Standing tall and turning into the wind though there might be times when it feels as though I have been struck by sound across my face loud enough that I can either taste it or return fire in kind as it tries to drive the choices from my head. Keeping calm and carrying onward knowing that the silent shadow wars have begun, and keeping in mind that one day the future may not arrive and instead be found in some dark ditch on the side of the road.

Still when I look in that mirror on the shelf and see what the forced aging has done, and has me wondering with those scars I carry that the sun’s dark light couldn’t or wouldn’t heal if there is there anything left of me with wounds being all I seem to be made of? And I can’t truthfully say if that Mississippi queen and I will ever be free contrary to that prediction from that fortune teller a long time ago in what seems like another life. But, then again I won’t give in though time is just like a flicker of light, and chances are made as well as lost, and who dares wins.

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. June 2016 – 32