Your fingers close around one of mine
That mouth opens in a drooling, toothless smile
The tone of your cries like words
I decipher on instinct

Redress your stained, sodden onesies
After dinner
Smiling at your happy gurgle
As you grab your kicking toes

I watch you grow
Pull yourself up and scream
Beat on surfaces.
Your first plodding steps
Before you wobble and plop
Back onto your diaper and giggle.

I cheer at your first athletic games
Support you when you decide to quit

Stress when you begin dating
Wonder if you’ll get into college

Watch my blood pressure
When you come to me for advice
Hope I’ve said it all right

Sitting, watching you pass by
The worries I always wanted
Fading every year
With the dream of you.

Holding you to my chest
Seeing myself in you
My love and care reflected

Everything I would’ve ever
Held dear
Packaged tightly in you

I love you now
As I’d love you if
You had ever been born.

Rest, my child
You were always alive to me.