I gazed into the mirror

As a child

Pulling myself up to see

Blond hair and brown eyes

Mouth in a hesitant smile

The only one I could tell how I felt

Or remembered how life had been

And promised how life could be.

I looked into the mirror as a teenager

I saw a moon face

full of blemishes, discordant

and sought to use it as a canvas

To paint myself more

acceptable eyes and mouth.

No truth was available.

I imagined a fantasy of llight and laughter

Of dance and friends

Of knowledge and wisdom.

I glanced at myself in the mirror

As a mother

I saw tired eyes

The satisfaction of craivity

No time to see myself separate.

Two girls to hold in my arms.

One boy to treasure.

A home to make into a next

Tired nights, happy days

Wondering at life’s chances.

As a mature woman

I see a stranger

A face that is different

Same angles there

A whole life in my eyes

Of failures and triumphs, stress and peace

Weariness and euphoria

Sorrow and joy.

Confident to let the world see me as I am

Having found a life where I can feel real.

The dreary depths

Of depression and fear

Have become occasional shallow troughs

Until I can remember the life

The child has now inherited

A life less rushed

Then enjoyed richly.