I'm a t-shirt guy through and through
At last count I had seventy-two.
It doesn't mean I'm better, that's true
But it does mean I get laid more than you.

Women love a t-shirt guy with tats
Bad boys with beards and hats.
No hard body with a six-pack
Just a good ol' boy beer belly fat.

Boots are scuffed from kicking rocks
Surfer shorts with black knee-high socks.
A battered look from taking knocks
That's right guys, ladies think I'm a fox.

Once in a while I do get turned down
I just move on and never frown.
When it comes to ladies, I been around
A t-shirt guy always wears the crown.

It doesn't matter what color is worn
As long as there's writing on the back and slightly torn.
But "Who farted" t-shirts I do scorn
Anything else I will adorn.

Other guys come in all types
But t-shirt guys lay the pipe
I know you think that this is all hype
But I get action while you just gripe.

So button your shirts and put on your ties
And try to believe your lyin' eyes.
But one day soon you'll realize
Your girl went away with a t-shirt guy.