Steve in the Canteen

Steve when he's eating doesn't make a sound,

for his teeth are in a bag, on the table or ground.

He sucks the filling through his bread and the butter,

he makes no sound, except the words that he mutters.

“ Mfwmf!" I'll hear him trying to say,

as I dodge the bits of sandwich heading my way.

I'll tell him some jokes,

and when he starts to choke,

he'll cough, and then he'll, spray.

Then he'll repeat his request, more clearly to me.

“ Do you want a bite, or a sup of my tea?”

“ No thanks.” I'll reply.

“ For I've already had them, all over me.”

So the moral of this story is really plain to see.

When you’re in the cafe, the canteen or wherever?

Don't ask Steve for the news.

Because you'll also get the weather.