Perilous Socks

Do you want me to buy you, girly-girl socks?
For if I'm not careful, I'll start to buy frocks.
Not that it matters or is of alarm,
because guys in dresses don’t do any harm.

You might think it weird to see me so dressed,
but this is what I do to prevent getting stressed.
Its never the garb, the dress or the skirt,
the brassiere, the panties or even the shirt,
Looking so shabby, without form or sheen,
its the silk stockings underneath,
that get laddered on me.

I'm not saying I'm hairy,
for I shave down to the stubble.
But if I don't scrape, it'll lead to more trouble,
'cos after a while, hairs’ll grow out of my stockings,
and shaving my "socks?"
Now that would be shocking!