NIGHTMARE

Wanting to get away from the over powering

maddening quiet and stillness.

I plunged into the fairground

cutting a tight path for myself

through the milling mass of human bodies.

They were just forms,

except for the occasional leering face

with mouth open and wild looking eyes,

turned in my direction.

Fingers pointed, mouths opened

and poured forth blood curdling screams and laughter

on the edge of hysteria?

Hollow mocking laughter echoed in my head,

Fingers pointed. They laughed and pointed at me!

I turned in panic looking for escape.

it filled my ears, my head, my brain!

I swung onto a nearby merry go round

and sat teetering on a gaudily painted horse with flaring nostrils.

The horse sneered at me. I could not find the reins

so I clutched my arms round it’s neck and hung on for dear life.

“Gimme your money then!” yelled a voice in my ear,

fighting to be heard above the booming alien sound,

which was music, grinding from somewhere inside the crude machine.

A grubby paw was thrust under my nose.

I grouped inside my pocket and gingerly put some money into it.

My horse rose then fell, rose then fell,

my stomach lurched and my head swam

I started to feel queasy.

I fixed my eyes on one object in the crowd

out side the mad world of the merry go round.

It was a kid holding a gooey mass of red rubbish.

He took a bite out of it.

The next time I swung round the stuff was all over him

next he was pulling up a rebelling sock.

Then he was an individual no more,

part of the intimidating rage

of sound and colour all around me

.

I felt sick, panic seized me,

I could not stand the rise and fall and spinning any longer.

I tensed myself, unclasped my arms

and flung myself off the horse.

Red sharp pain and shock stabbed at me

as I hit the mucky ground.

I rolled over and over again and again.

The mass had made a path for my body

then had filled in around me,

leaving me in a dark airless hole

Struggling for oxygen and wanting to rid myself of the pain

I found myself running up a flight of stairs.

Why had I done this? The stairs would never end

They spiralled forever upwards.

The mocking laughter once more echoed through my ears.

I leapt out of the dark, stretching shaft,

and grasped a nearby rail..

It was cold, icy cold. My heart felt exactly the same

I looked down, the world was beneath me.

I was nearer heaven than hell.

I moved to the edge of the platform.

A woman stumbled heavily against me,

breathing down my neck, then laughing in my face.

I pushed her back to the boy she was with

then stared once more into hell.

I eased myself into a sitting position on the rail

then flung myself head first forwards into space.

“Mister, mister, wot are you doing?

” cried a quavering voice above me.

White and shaken I opened my eyes and

peered around me. I was on a narrow, hard parapet.

I looked up, the platform was about four feet above me

A strong hand reached down to me.

I moved my bruised arm and grasped the hand

and was pulled upwards 

I was still alive.

I did not really want to die