The sun is shining, birds are chirping

And there is a gentle breeze,

Overall it is a beautiful day,

However I am surrounded in darkness

Feeling scared, unsure and very alone.

Going through the motions of daily life

As I plan for a future event

That even the best outcome will be bad,

As it will keep me from those I hold dearest.

Tears running down my face

As I write this thinking of my friends

Realizing how my mood swings 

Over the past weeks are and have been hurting them

When they only wish to help.Not knowing what to do

Where to go or even who to go to for help

I sometimes feel the best thing would be

Just to be swallowed up by the sea.