I often was thinking about slowly sinking as I became older and weak.
I always was wary that old age was scary because I would mumble and leak.

I’d sit and I’d cry feeling that I would die and that no one was there who would care.
I’d groan and I’d sigh when in my poor mind’s eye I’d be found in my stained underwear.

The years they did pass and I got real bad gas and my end time would slowly grow closer.
I lost all my hair and my pure maiden fair and became a big Miralax doser.

My muscles were shrinking and I’d sit there drinking and wishing that I were still younger.
My back did its aching and my hands their quaking and I always had the same hunger.

Running and jumping and casual humping and downing a drink in some dive.
Feeling the bliss from a new lover’s kiss and excitement from being alive.

Working and sweating and never regretting and collecting some overtime pay.
Laughing and smiling and being beguiling and able to kneel when I’d pray.

Then the maker’s of fate sent me something quite great and I now had a new burst of hope!
They gave me the scoop on the latest great poop about how I could suddenly cope.

I jumped up for joy like a young birthday boy since my answers were suddenly there.
I stopped all my crying and unhappy sighing and welcomed this breath of fresh air!

That which I needed for which I had pleaded was suddenly given to me.
A great web address that would cure my life’s mess. The site for Oprah Winfrey!

I’d go there to read and to beg and to plead for some help from the “Law of Attraction.”
I washed and I dressed and then did my darn best to take all of the required action.

And hip hip hooray it did happen one day that my efforts produced something great!
For along came a girl like a rare precious pearl who is now both my match and soul mate.

It’s not only I who alone will now cry about how a lost soul aches and burns.
She’s also a quitter and even more bitter so we pass our life taking turns!