What is a line but a queue?
I’d rather stand than sit in a pew
Listening to someone drone on
‘Bout people and times so far gone
That even what’s true has been bent
To serve ends that never were meant.
So on line I’ll continue to stand
My foolscap and pen clutched in hand.
With baited breath I shall just wait
For my muse to strike. Though my fate
Is likely to be thinking of trite
Overused phrases that might
Cause many to shake heads and gasp
At my inability to grasp
The nuances of the tongue.
My praises will never be sung
By my fans nor by a choir.
(Unless I assay to hire
Them at an hourly rate
In which case they’d happily state
That my work was completely first rate.)
But as I stand here in line
Happily biding my time,
It suddenly occurs to me
That for a reasonable fee,
I could hire some sycophants
And write them a few little chants
That could incite a small crowd
To praise me out loud.
And then I could spend all my time
With others forming a line
At my autograph table.
I think I’d also be able
To charge money for lines that I pen.
I not have to work ever again.
But reality bursts into my bubble
And I suddenly see what’s the trouble
With making a hobby a job.
Because if do it I must, it would rob
Me of my autonomy;
Of being totally free
To do as I wish and when.
I’d become a slave to the pen.
(I wrote this in my head, several years ago, while standing in line at a book fair. I was waiting to collect an author’s autograph for a friend, even though I thought the author's writing was schlock. For some reason, my memory dredged it up recently, so I am submitting it here as a means of forgetting it once and for all.) :)