I sit in the dark as the rain starts

a steady down beat just like my heart.

Wishing for something that is just out of my reach.

The rain blows in against my face mixing with the tears falling down my cheeks.

I sit in awe while the rain sings me a soft lullaby, as the events of my life pass behind my eyes.

I look at them like some old movie in black and white, reliving my past heartbreaks and fears and all the shed tears.

While my soul cry out for the pain it has received.

My heart thumps against its cage, as I sit on that old porch swing its creak somewhat of a comfort for me.

I listen to the rumble of thunder far off in the distance and the flash of lighting that follows it.

The wind ruffles through my hair and the rain caresses my cheek.

What a sad beautiful strange serenade I am witnessing here, almost as if it was being played just for me;

a strange sweet accompaniment to my memories.

The thunder booms louder and the lightning lights up the eastern sky and I see more storm clouds on the horizon there.

Shaking my head I sit here and stare and wonder from what direction my salvation with appear.

As the sky got louder I really begin to cry.

I rose from that old porch swing I wondered why, after half a lifetime of something I am left with nothing and as much as I try I just cant find all the missing pieces of my life.

Staring out into the wind and rain and I scream my rage for what was taken from me, and the empty life that was handed to back to me.

The lightening struck and the rain blew in on the porch and I almost wished that it was death coming for me, him I knew.

Opening the door and looking over my shoulder as the wind laughed and the thunder mocked me.

I chuckled to myself,

what the hell life is just a dream isn't it?

Maybe I will wake from mine soon.