In my mind she exists and she is really real
How dumb is that
Anyway.

When will I realize that she stopped being there
When she left
In a mist.

But my mind is a frangible substance that will
Fall apart if I think
Too much.

I sustain my visions of the impossible by faith
In her becoming mine
Through will.

Systematic resistance to the truth has me here
Where I am today
In denial.

Do not try to tell me it is otherwise my friends
Belief is a suspension
Of logic.

Piles of insanity have filled my somber mind
With dreams and hopes
That are lost.

But she never actually lived a life outside 
My fevered thoughts 
And hopes.

No, no, that is not true I lie to myself now
That love is always alive
In a heart.

Do not open that room in my reeling brain
Or I may stagger out
In a daze.

If she does not appear when I call her then
She is just too far away
Once more.

Across the world and back in time I will fly
To hear her just once more
Or see her.

That was something that has never happened.
I have only seen her face
Just once.

Momentarily and visually she was right there
But she took herself
Away again. 

So do not tell me that she has never been there
Because I did see her 
One time.

Her voice still rings in my ears and my mind
As if it were yesterday
Or was it.

Is she only that somebody that I used to know
In a world of electrons
Dancing by.

Perhaps.

I grieve

I lose

Again and again

In my soul.