Tomorrow is the day I see you.

370 days since the last time I saw your smile,

Heard your laugh,

Looked into your blue eyes.

Only tomorrow will be so very different.

Your eyes will be closed.

A smile will no longer fall on your face.

And your laugh

Along with you,

Will be gone.

The shell of your body is what I get to say goodbye to.

How do I face you?

How do I look at a body that is so very clearly the one of my brother

And know...

You're not there.

How do I go on

Knowing

I will never see you again?

My life will go on.

Without you.

...

I don't want it to.

I would sacrifice my own life to bring you back happy

And healthy

And ALIVE.

How do I live without you?

I went to the lake to say goodbye to you.

I yelled at you

Screaming, "Why?"

I'm so sorry

For everything.

I didn't answer your calls.

I only hope you know how much I fucking loved you.

Love you.

Ohio feels empty without you ya know.

You leave.

And whole stare feels empty.

I'll never be the same without you Bubby.

I love you forever,

Your lil sis