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Bereaved

"Miss You... forever... a realty I have to live with every single minute, hour, day, rest of my life."

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Six months back I dreamt of him dying

While my partner rushed to help him in a car.

Some days later I got news his heart was bad 

Nightmarish reality started spinning its web.

On every ring of my phone

My heart would come to my mouth.

Every minute every hour

You lived

I hoped for more

A strong will

Stronger man I yet have to see.

That twilight of your operation

My heart stopped with yours for those two minutes

You came back to us

Miraculously unexpected said the doctors

Every beep of your heart on a machine

Gave me peace

Yet…

Riddled me with anxiety.

Day you came back

I thanked God on bended knees

All for nothing

Oh your pain

Lord that agony in your eyes

Not one scream passed your lips

Collapsing

Reviving

Breathing

One

Two 

Three... more please more

Counting

Hoping...

Dying hope

Glimmer

Don’t move dad....please don’t

Those needles 

Those tubes

Don’t move

Treatments galore, wrong prognosis, mishandling of case

Callous waste of human life.

Today I live with reality

That he has gone forever

His soul merged with God.

And that dream I saw?

It came true just the way I saw it

A agonising déjà vu 

I Miss you DAD.

I swear you live in me

Forever.

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Written by sea
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