I'm trying so hard

To make everything better

The more I change the stranger I feel

People say oh Sin change this or that

There are so few that encourage me to continue

To conquer the things I really need to fix in my life for better living

But there is no end of the comments that make you feel unworthy

Unloved, unlovable, useless in the grand scheme of thing

From being blown off and forgotten about after a verbal platitude

To told straight out what it is you need to change about yourself

I'm trying so hard to better myself

But then I have to wonder if it will even matter when I'm done

Will there always be things not good enough

Probably so but the real question is

Am I going to try to make me into what everyone else wants and something I'm not?

The answer is a simple one, one I should have known from the start

No!!! I will be me and no one else...I will make changes

But only to better myself, not change to something I'm not and never will be.

I would like to dedicate this poem to my friend Sushi, who has stood beside me and encouraged me the whole way.

Thank you my friend... this is for you.