There is nothing special about me I am just an average girl, with normal interests. I enjoy watching movies, listening to music, chatting to friends and anything that has to do with the water although I don’t swim. 

I am currently dating an awesome guy named John. He is someone I have found attractive for the longest time and he asked me, he finally asked me out and of course I said yes. I am so happy over the moon excited.

John is always busy with family commitments, and a career he loves there isn’t much time for us. So when we are together we need to make every minute count. We enjoy the simple things like going to the park to shooting baskets or just curling up together on the lounge and holding each other.

We can talk about anything and everything but the thing I love the most about him is when he tells me that he loves me, I can really feel it. It makes me smile so wide and wraps around me like a warm blanket making me feel all warm inside.

However John gets really busy sometimes it could be days between visits. This makes me get sad and lonely so I started surfing the web and I came across this chat site and I started talking to people.

That is where I met Paul, a guy 13 years my junior. He is so easy to talk too and always ready with either a joke or an ear. Don’t get me wrong he had his own demons and they were a lot worse and deeper than mine.

But we started talking longer and longer each day, as we learn more about one another we grew closer. But then as they say one thing leads to another and I ended up in his arms, then his bed. It felt so good to be held by him but when he told me he loved me I didn’t get the same warm feeling as I did with John.

Now I am trapped in a situation that I have created for myself, and so unsure how to fix it. Apart from not wanting to hurt them because I really do care about both and I don’t want to lose either.