I had a dream last night. It was a silly dream about a class reunion. I couldn’t remember my classmates' names and they were trying to make me guess. I went to get my yearbook to help me. I remembered all the classmates who had died and I thought for a moment about using a magic marker to put an X across their faces. That would be disrespectful. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. Then I woke up and remembered that you were so looking forward to your first class reunion. And then it all came back again. The grief, the guilt, the second-guessing. I woke up from my dream and the nightmare returned.