Sooner or later the time and the day will come that we can’t hide anymore from those things we have done, and sometimes lost is the best place to be and if they think you have no direction doesn’t mean you don’t have one. There also times when we have to leave some behind so that we can continue on, and I wonder at times if God in his wisdom will ever forgive us for those sins we have that seem to be so practiced? There have been times when I have been living the blues and it feels like I have been walking with my head bowed down to the tips of my shoes as strangers seem to be the only ones giving me the news, with the best thing to be is just getting some sleep without the thoughts that torture my dreams and threaten to cripple my soul.
We all seem to be stuck with those things we are not proud of because we are all flawed in some way thinking we did what we thought was right. While I continue walkin’ down the highway as the Tao directs as far as my eyes can see, and I seem to know that death is not the end. Remembering once, when I looked for my friends and couldn’t seem to find them as most had turned into rank strangers and sometimes has me think of Carnivàle and all that took place there when it seemed the circus was in town, and the moon seemed to be hidden behind the clouds and reminded me of Dylan’s Desolation Row. Sometimes I wonder how many paths were taken I was directed to take that were tried by others and failed?
Life can sometimes be a curse and make us all feel like hell, and in most cases, all of this has happened before, and all of it will one day happen again. With there being times when I have had it with; destiny, prophecy, gossip, innuendo, and rumours. That sometimes seems all that I have to fall back on with the only exception being my faith, which is all I have left that is sacred, when all that is wanted is to see the truth for which it seems I have suffered and waited for so long and the reason(s), I have continued making my way down the line with the only thing feared is being forgotten. I will turn my head up to that dark and rolling sky hoping to make peace when that essential truth is found, while the wind blows through the trees.
Still, I have heard all those rumours in those places I have passed through about how they want me put down, yet I am still breathin’ even though I had made every mistake that anyone could possibly make, and wondering at times if I can do anything right. All I have asked of them is not to get up as I was only passing through and occasionally I have asked if the rumour was true. All of those evil things I have heard makes me not want to believe them, and all I want from you is the true word to tell me that they aren’t true. I know they know nothing about sacrifice when the lights go out, and still, I carry on down the line carrying and obsolete and archaic code in me especially when things are under attack. Writing them all off as criminal and still they wonder why I will only go to war with the brothers I trust and standing up when called out; for he who has shed blood with me will be my brother forever.
I have tried my hand in the past at bribery, blackmail, and deceit along with a little sleight of hand, for which I have done the time for as well as for the crimes and misdemeanors that were never explained. Which had just served to fill me up with doubts, and have me feeling like I am bulletproof, and made me not want to trust my brother which had me wander off in shame as he took the blame for those things I did and saying those things that should have remained unsaid. In the time of my confession, and in my hour of need there’s a dying voice echoing deep inside of me reachin’ out against the toils and dangers of despair. Which has me behold the chain of events which I must break while going where the Tao directs out here on what most would consider a lonesome road, every moment that passes being numbered like each grain of sand.
Soon I might be gone (to the relief of some), and before I pass on, I offer this warning or guide to follow: Stay free from petty jealousies, live by no man’s code, and hold your judgment for yourself. Do not judge for you will be judged in kind because the judgments you give are the judgments you will get, and the standard you use will be the standard used for you. And it might be like when fire meets gasoline.
Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. April 2017 – 32
