Sitting here afraid to lose control and I am being called out on many fronts it seems, and seems I have wasted both breath and time, all while it feels as if I am thinking myself to death. Having been born without the current fear felt, and the only thought that seems clear; is I need to move and need to fight. Feels as if anything I say is from something I seem to have read, and been doing my thinking with my heart instead of my mind, and I know I am only growing older, with the truth sometimes being elusive to catch. With all the lines having been somewhat blurred with the obstacles that seem to be placed in my way, making me wonder if I should open my fist to take all the things I have missed?

Weaving around and through the dangers, as I stop where I stand feeling as though the hammer is about to fall as the shadows can be felt coming down. But, then again I will be there when any from that one group whom have been awarded the highest accolade and hold membership in a certain group when they call, come the day. And I will be there with my reasons for it all, and knowing I need to follow those old laws that have been ingrained in me when around all others. And there have been times when I feel as if I have burned my shadows, as well as some of my tomorrows with dreams fading away as I stand here in the moment of today.

Having been judged when I was ambushed by him and them and their lies, and the subtleties they used that have threatened to strangle me here where I stand. I was once a keeper of the seals and now I ain’t so sure anymore as history and gravity seem to work as one and hold all things down. At times feeling the wind and having it seem like time has stood still, yet many times illusion has spun and cast its net, as liberty softly laughed and pirouetted when I had the thought of being free.

With there being times when I wish I could hear the bugler sound the call of retreat, but my heart won’t let me give in. Asking some when the seasons change if they will remember me and what I was then, after having been wounded in battle and telling my critics and enemies that I don’t care and I should be giving up the fight. For many fights were already there before we met, and there were many roads that seemed to not lead to anywhere. Knowing I need to continue playing the game and do only what I know can be done, with those others who are in that group who in some ways are and were prisoners just like me.

They have tried to break me and never succeeded, even those who were experts. But then again they never walked out of those complicated shadows, looking unchanged on the outside, but changed on the inside. Though the world has gotten a bit meaner, shallow, and colder. With there being times to just to stay alive, and searching for both the truth and answers, and I will stand with those I have pledged my loyalty to and have deserved it for forever. And the others I will bid them a fare thee well and not give a damn as my boots are pointed away and let them watch me walking on down the line.

The way I feel is the way I write and ain’t the thoughts of a person who lies and runs when called out.

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. June 2016 – 29