Dear friend...
If you only knew how important you are...
Dear friend...
You have a purpose in this world all your own
Dear friend...
No one can take it 'way from you
Dear friend...
Don't take it from yourself.

Dear friend...
If only you knew how much I care
Dear friend...
If only you knew how I am there
Dear friend...
You aren't alone in your fight
Dear friend...
If only you let me in,

Let us help you towards the light.


Dear friend,

This song has made me think. I know you didn't want me writing about you- well, this isn't me writing about you, this is me writing to you... I know, technicalities, but I need to get this out and I want to link you to this, so here I go...

We aren't the tender-moment friends, so I didn't know how to talk to you about all this, but now I am. Please just listen- or, you know, read.

I've read a lot about anorexia- from the point of view from the anorexic, lots of memoirs. I've read about what will happen if it goes too far, I've read about why they do it. But wait- I'm generalizing, and I'm supposed to be writing to you. Why did you start? (I know it's not usually a conscious thought... just your general understanding, I guess). Why didn't you want help? There was a point where you talked to me, spoke with me, one day and you were the happiest about being ever so skinny. You know it's unhealthy- you do, I know you do, so why didn't you want help out of that unhealthy situation?

This is a musing, and a heavy topic, so I'm going to jump around a bit. I hope you don't mind.

This scares me, this Anorexia thing. I know you know that, I told you. I don't know how to ask you these questions over the phone, or through text, or in person. I don't know how to talk to you over the phone or over text. In person, it's so easy, but over the phone? In text? I can't just point out something random and you'll understand, we actually have to figure stuff out. Maybe we'll meet up this summer, but do you still want to be friends? I want to- despite what it may have looked like since last summer, I do care about you. My friend, I care so much you'll never know how much. I feel so helpless, not knowing how to help you, because that's all I want to do. I want to help. Tell me how and I'll do it. You tell me to talk to you, but I don't know how- I don't know about what. Tell me. Show me. It was so much easier to talk to you before I knew about this and everything else, but I'm glad I know. This way, there are no secrets- or not as many- in this friendship. This way, I know you. Some.

How's your summer going? You and your girlfriend? Has she found a job yet?

Sorry, I told you I'd jump- I need to or I'll break down in tears. Oh, weakness. Pardon that- my life is nowhere near yours, I shouldn't be making you feel guilty or any of that. Anyway..

I have a few more things to say- I'll think of more later, always do, but for now... for now, this is enough.

I'm here. I've always been here, I always will be. If my number changes, I'll text you and say "Hi, this is Aria, remember me?" and you'll have it in case you need me. I don't think you'll need me- you have your girlfriend and you always did say, so long as you have her... but I'm here anyways, just in case. Always. Forever your friend, my dear friend. Forever here even if you don't want me here.

Forever caring, 

my 

dear 

friend