Lols to Tits

I've noticed that I use the abbreviation 'lol' far too much when chatting online, typing stories, poems or texting. Even though what's being said is hardly funny at all. Sometimes I use it to take the sting out of an amusing or cutting comment that I've made, so the person on the other end doesn't feel slighted or possibly offended in any way. We all use 'lol' every time we type, without actually laughing, and especially not out loud. I've also never felt the need to 'piss myself laughing.' The very idea makes me shiver with revulsion. The same can be applied to 'rotfl.'

For me, there hasn't ever been the need or want to laugh in this way, not since I heard, 'Raw Meat for the Balcony,' a vinyl recording by Billy Connolly back in the 1970's. His material was so refreshingly shocking. Stories like, 'The Last Supper,' where Judas got the carry-out, because he'd 'come into some money.'
I'd come up with the good idea at the time (I thought, naively) of putting the record on late at night, with me listening on my headphones, that were plugged into my hi-fi, next to the bed. I didn't see the flaw in my plan till my mother came charging into the bedroom at 3am on hearing my howls of laughter! I never laughed so hard again where I thought I'd actually die of it, till I watched the Lee Evans concerts in the 1990's. Or for that matter Peter Kay in the Noughties.

So anyway, I've given this matter a lot of thought and have come to a decision. I've decided that instead of 'lol,' I'm going to use something else. Over the interim years, I've noticed that I do titter a lot. Anything slightly amusing or even more, I titter away. So from now on, don't worry if you see a 'tit' at the end of my words. I'm not having a go at you. I'm not issuing a verdict on you, thereby calling you a tit. I'm just tittering. tit. Now I'm laughing, tit, at the absurdity tit tit, of my words. tit tit tit. Respectfully, Bri. Tit. Tit.