Every second, every minute and every hour.

Day and night

dark thoughts consume me.

Repeat and repeat the same words.

“It’s going be okay. You need to keep everything under control”.

Sometimes I lie to myself and pretend it doesn’t hurt and put on a great show.

But I wonder how long is this big lie going last?

I really don’t know…..

There are times I feel hate against the world.

I just want to pull off the smirks of others.

I want them on their knees and begging for forgiveness for hurting me.

But I hold the anger and the pain inside to suffer by myself; always been that way since I was seven.

Somehow I been starting to know how to control the tears when I want to boil over.

I really think I’m a psycho.

When I can’t control it I cut to feel the pleasure by it.

I just have the desire to have someone begging for pity.

Aw those sweet words, “Please let me go”. “I do anything but don’t hurt me or simply a beautiful scream from the top of their lungs.

I guess I’m a completely lost case.

I bet HE doesn’t see me as his son or daughter no longer.

It doesn’t matter I never had a father anyway.

How would I know HE loves me?

I’m just another lost child.