I am passing by and through sleeping cities that are fading away slowly by degrees, and I am not believing all I see to be so. I am moving on alone over ground that nobody owns and passing by statues which are marking my passage through, and are some sort of atonement for my sins. Seeing a guard on every door and I also know there is a drink outside each door on every floor that are overflowing with a thousand amens. It seems hard to say some days what and who I am as I continue on down the line and heading to another place seeking some singular touch of saving grace.

There are shadows on the walls that sometimes makes me feel like a prisoner, or like a fool or like I am evil. Like I have been living underground, but it’s alright for it’s just like their words of praise and I just keep moving on and not looking back as I don’t give a damn to both shadow and man, as they both remind me of a ship of fools. Still, there are those I think of and wonder if they have ever gotten through and this might be the last temptation or my final account, and do they wonder if I ever stayed the same? As I watched a shooting star slip away and remembering one night, I was told not to look back and to just keep my eyes on her. Both of us felt like victims of the night in the fading light as all headed into the turning of twilight. I recall the feeling in my chest when we were together and had the same feeling out on an October street in San Francisco when I thought I saw her as a newly minted version again at the turning of twilight as the shadows grew long.

Now getting a smile from the bite of the wind and seeing the ice and fresh fallen snow, and knowing that my life had taken a turn with some seeing things through my eyes. Feeling the Earth turning and moving under my feet as I continue on down the line with each step I take and know to always stand tall though things might seem like worlds are colliding and are like that strange arrival seen from a thousand miles away. Facing all when called out and holding my ground even when it seems like the odds are stacked, with some coming with me and seeing all I see though they are unaware of it happening.

There is a realization or an epiphany that happened long ago about there being no easy way to be free in a world that has turned shallow and mean. Needing to let go of what can’t be controlled like when I thought nothing could make a fool out of me when all was too much too soon, and all became like a burst balloon.

Recalling once when looking out on the city lights down below, and feeling as if time has stood still with all being something to observe and having to trust imagination. Going from day to day and just wanting tomorrow to be better than today, and knowing the easiest day is; was and will always be yesterday. Still, there are some nights when I try to cash in my bad luck and continue to prove Dylan wrong by trying still to win with a losing hand. With there being times when I just don’t know anymore as I follow where the Tao directs, and I know some can agree with that feeling. Then again, I have seen some terrible lies rise up, and seen the whirlpool they came from near the waterfalls of pity, as I drained a cup near the river of blindness.

There are those I would give my devotion from the end of my life to the end of theirs, and pull them from the fire and the shadows that try to suck all in. Making them to be never forgotten and to live on in memory that will never die. Still, I wonder if I will ever be forgotten? I do know I need somebody to die and to cry for, though there are times when I feel I don’t need this life and feel lonely out here following the line. As I rage against the dying of the light and know I won’t go willingly into that good night, with no place to turn or with nothing left to burn.

Still, I carry those old ghosts that won’t go away anytime soon out here under the midnight moon and wondering if the mercy of God is near. Especially when the last rays of the sun’s dark light fade away as I stand here leaning in the doorway and maybe deciding to try to live my life once again upon the square.

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. February 2017 – 07