Out here off of the beaten paths in an area unknown to most I can hear the thunder hitting and rolling across the hills and fields as if it were a bell being rung by an ironhand. Feeling at times as if I were thunderstruck from the rolling waves of thunder coming down, and caught out near an unused railroad spur as I found myself looking around knowing there was no turning back. Feeling my mind race as thoughts of what I could do passed through me and knowing with some that I blew the bridges with those I once knew never learned anything above what they had gotten from those “gospels” found scrawled on the bathroom walls, and there was no help found there beyond those shadows that fell.

Now I can feel the thunder of drums coming from my heart and it feels as though it’s trying to tear me apart, as I follow these old tracks in the pouring rain wondering if everything will once again be all-right for I have had those moments when I thought about giving everything up. Changed my mind with the knowledge that my heart won’t ever let me give up or give in. So, I headed down the highway, back roads, and railroad tracks as the Tao dictated and everything in the process changed and now just moving on doing what needs to be done, as I look out at the far horizon.

Knowing that no one lives if they are too scared to die or look deep into the hole we all carry. Breaking down the walls and feeling like Dylan’s Jack of Hearts, and making it at times on a wish and a prayer and no one can tell me how it feels unless they have experienced the same or taken the time to put one foot in front of the other in order to feel alive as they search for those answers to the questions we all have. Been there and back again and occasionally looked at the reflection in that mirror on the shelf, and made peace with the enemy and keeping my faith and hope(s) alive. With there being times when I have felt like someone and taken those lessons I have learned with me with each bridge I have crossed, and found most on my own.

Choosing to do the best with the rest that I might have left, and maybe they haven’t seen the last of me yet. Still there are those who’s back I have had from what seems to be from the beginning of time and with each day that’s gone by, and with some I will do so till the day that I die. It might be painful to smile but, it covers some of the scars that are carried.

Now squinting in the dark light of a new day’s sun, and knowing that the past isn’t as far away as we all think it is and life is a hell of a lot more than who and what we are. After trying to learn to live with memories and still that false clock ticks loudly in its attempt to distract me from those things at hand and has me think of how hard I have pushed both patience and luck until some decided to finally give up. Still my dreams aren’t as empty as some seem to think I am and it’s no wonder I grow stronger taking the pain and converting it to power, as my critics grow weaker but then why should I give a damn? For we will all be judged one day and pay for the lives we have lived, and led.

Sometimes when the lights go out I wonder if I can ever be saved? With confusion sometimes never stopping, and there are times when I have cursed lost opportunities, like those tides I continue to swim against. The Tao won’t let me stop on this quest and where it directs me to go, to try and find the answers to those questions I have. It all comes down to just another day whether we live or die as our number is called, and wondering if we are the cure or just part of the disease? Or are we just waiting for some sort of sign? Still I carry on forward knowing all in all if it is to be then it is up to me especially when time seems to stand still and there is no turning back.

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. December 2016 – 61