I have been at war with my body for as long as I can remember. My mind always asking the body, "Why can't you just be what I want?" and my body asking, "Why can't you love me as I am?"

If this was a relationship between two people, it would be seen as abusive. The endless diets, overexercising, pills, corsets, and body wraps is my punishment for the reflection in the mirror. Only to cry tears of sadness, to have a mind riddled with failure, a body injured.

Avoiding mirrors and taking pictures like some kind of shameful creature. The soul asks,"Do you not see the love in your eyes?  Or the amazing power in our heart? Or the beauty in the curve of your hip? Or the strength in your muscles? Do you not have gratitude for the ease that your body moves through the world? Are you listening to yourself?"

A reclamation of the body is not enough. The mind and soul must join the body as one. It takes many deaths to kill what we've been told to believe. It takes many deaths to reclaim what was taken from our innocence. It takes many deaths to simply be who we came here to be.