Maybe I over thought certain things, or I have been blind my whole life. Perhaps, I was crazy and judged too soon, on how I would live out my years. I was to be that old lady with the creepy house on the lonely hill, with several cats and two mean looking, but cuddly guard dogs. Gothic iron gates and fence and if we were that advanced at the time, I wanted holographic black clouds and lightning, just for the added effect.

I had no problems with being single, though the boys I met lacked what I desired. A lot of the good ones were already taken or not interested in me. Not really a problem I never wanted some asshole looking for a girl to play with, while they had a committed relationship on the side. I didn’t roll like that, I wanted to be someone’s one and only. It was sad; however, that a lot of my friends asked me why in the seven hells was I still single.

So I thought back for a second why I had been seriously single for my whole life. For starters, to find a man among boys was difficult enough with the competition between women fighting over them. I met a few that I believed were the most amazing guys in the world, half of them moved before I got to tell them, one or two were gay, and the last few didn’t see me that way. Knowing this, my heart felt a slight stab, but then I moved on. There were some who asked me out or asked to be his one and only. Such loyal pets the lot of them were, truly adorable and so fucking annoying! So one decided to ask me out one week before summer break and my parents never let me out of the house. He avoided me like the plague afterward. One was a creepy stalker guy who was once a good friend for three years should have stayed just friends, but he never got that 'no' meant 'no'. As for the rest of the puppy-eyed hopefuls, the best I described them was high maintenance, energetic, loud, overly happy, excitable, squirrels that were more than happy to agree with everything I said. How boring, right?

There was however, this one guy I met at a Halloween party two years ago, I was red riding hood because they had recently come out with the dark version of that story in a movie. Anyway, he was nice and had the most eerie feel about him. He was also the reason I found out I had a strong feel about me. He told me one day that he “mirrors” energy. So I deduced I attracted myself to him, how disappointing. Eventually, we gave up waiting for each other. Well, I gave up on him while his girlfriend, a good friend I knew, was jealous. He obsessed over me even though he saw me twice. I knew that one had to end. Last, I heard he and my friend were very happy together.

Now if all the guys were like the ones mentioned above, it was no wonder I was single. They couldn’t handle me, and I had neither patience nor tolerance for them. Moreover, none of them were cute except a few that rejected me. They were a bunch of fools. So, I thought I would stay with my two awesome and perfect characters in a story I wrote with my best friend. They were everything I wanted, because I wrote them to be my ideal guys. I felt slightly pathetic, because they weren’t real.

So one day, while I sat at the college bus stop, as I tried to write something while it was quiet, I looked up and there was this guy, just standing by the corner. He had his eyes closed and listened to music, almost oblivious of me, as I sat there. I was at the college for a few weeks and waited at this stop every day. I never saw this guy here before.

I tried to focus back on my writing, but I found myself peeking over at this guy. My first thought, I was not ashamed to admit, was that he looked as if he was a character from a story or manga that had just stepped out and manifested right there. Hell, he slightly reminded me of my main bad guy in my story with his hands in the pockets of a long black jacket as he stared out expressionless. I was even about to ask him if he would mind if I incorporated him into a story of mine. I immediately thought of how I could fit him in my story 'Blood Roses after Dark'. Then, I thought that would be rude of me to ask randomly.

I gave up on writing, if he insisted on standing there. I forced myself not to stare. I didn’t want to accidentally freak him out, or make him think I was some weirdo. I had been told that I tended to stare and that bugged people. I tried to glance around at other things as well.

Okay, now he had my full curiosity. I sent out mental messages, "Hey, you should totally talk to this blond chick. Hey, you’re cute. Come on and sit down beside me and say hello."

Yeah, my mental messages only worked once, I guess it didn’t work on others, damn it. Then I wished in my head that he rode my bus. That gave me a reason to sit next to him and somehow strike up a conversation. A car pulled up, he got in and it drove away. I spent the rest of the time waiting for the bus as I cursed myself. I cursed my passiveness at least for letting this guy slip away without giving or getting a name.

To my surprise, he was there again the next day. This time I spent my time building up the energy and courage to say hello. I did though, but he didn’t hear me. I may as well have shot myself for my failure I needed to be louder. It was time to build up more courage.

Days went by like this, this guy who silently stood there looking out, waited for someone to come get him, and me stressed and flipped out over him silently. I couldn’t find the right thing to say!

One time I ended up staring at him a little too long because he turned and our eyes locked for a moment, but then I quickly turned to my book and pretended I wrote the whole time. By now, his presence drove me insane. It took everything I had to keep from blurting out the stupid, horrible, and embarrassing bad ideas in my mind. I wanted to demand if he had a girlfriend or not. That was not creepy at all. I was such an idiot when it came to talking.

There was another day, when someone else heard my feeble attempts of mental messaging, I swore this seriously cute guy had a fucking brick wall up that my messages crashed and obliterated into tiny pieces. Then, a guy came up and started talking to me. He reminded me of my loyal squirrels. I also could tell that he wasn’t serious about a long-term relationship. The contrast between his and my personality made our friendship distant at best. I was, however, too nice at times and came off as a tease. To me it was just talking, humoring them at best, but others told me I could be a bad flirt. Sigh, I told them they were crazy.

As this guy talked to me, I glanced over a few times at the cute one and wondered if he would join the conversation and give me an excuse to talk to him. He got up and walked away, he did that sometimes, I wondered where he went, I pondered if I should follow, but I couldn’t just abandon a conversation like that, plus I didn’t even know the guy. It would be weird if I followed, as I wanted to.

For a week after that, my secret, now apparently, crush wasn’t at the bus stop. I pep talked myself the past twenty minutes that this was it, today I WILL say hi! He never showed up. I got up, paced a little, just as I would pace, so I could get close to him when he was there. I waited, but I didn’t see him coming. I spent some of the time searching for this guy. The car pulled up, he walked out and it drove away. I recalled banging my head on the wall right after that.

I overreacted. I needed to get hold of myself. He probably had a girlfriend. Otherwise, he would have said something by now.

"Oh God, please don’t let him be gay!" I meant that would be just another disappointment in my life! As I sat awkwardly at a bus stop, I knew it wasn’t working. He appeared in my daydreams. It got that bad! I had to find a reason to talk to him or it would probably kill me on the inside.

Finally, it was the week of Halloween, one of my favorite holiday’s because it gave me a good reason to dress up in my best outfits without others staring at me like I was insane, not that I cared in the first place, it just took a lot of planning to set it up. This costume took me three weeks to plan. I told a lot of people, my whole wardrobe was a costume closet and here was why. My costume consisted of my expensive, hard earned, leather outlaw boots, my nice black dress pants, a cream colored shirt with ruffles around the neck and chest, my new corset belt, a scarf used as a second belt, my gothic black jacket with ruffles ribbons and cuffs, a bandanna, a golden head piece, and finally, my favorite, a black leather pirate hat with three feathers sticking out. Black eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara completed the look and I borrowed my mother’s octopus. She said it would have a greater effect than my dragon.

I swore that this outfit would get some sort of response from the guy at the bus stop and by God if he weren't there today, I would die inside!

I got to the campus and to the student center where they held the Halloween costume contest. At first, there was hardly anyone there in costume, but over time, more people came in. I recognized a few. One was a guy with a fedora and the day I met him, we both commented on each other's hat because I wore a fedora too, and then we continued with our lives. The guy who came up to me that one day to talk was there too. He wore a mask so I didn’t realize it was him when he stared at me.

I turned and saw a friend of mine from a club we both went to and made a beeline for her. Then I saw the cute guy from the bus stop, and I did back flips inside my head, I swear! We finally started to talk and this guy impressed me from the start. I was so happy at that moment that I considered skipping my classes that day to just hang out with this guy, and make up for those awkward hours of silence. I also saw a side to him that was behind that mask of no emotions he usually wore. I got past that wall he put up for that one moment and it left me wanting to find out who exactly this guy was.

When I left that day, I was honestly glum, I wanted to stay badly but I had to get home early to help. That next Monday I searched everywhere for him, only to find out he wouldn’t be on campus until Tuesday, I cursed the world, yet again. I patiently waited for the next day, so I could talk to him more.

This ninja had my undivided attention, now on to phase two, how to get him to ask me out.

Ah shit, this part was always hard.