Fine Andy, I'll tell you what happened at the gas station. That's what we call them here. Convenient stores, for people like me, too lazy to walk to the back of the grocery store for milk. Convenient for those who are in a hurry. Places to be, no time to wait in lines, you know the kind. Maybe you are that kind. I always feel mad pressure at the checkout line. As if I am in the final stretch of the biggest race ever, but that's a whole other story.

So I stop at the station that I stop at almost daily, grab my milk and head towards the front of the store where the registers are. My eyes. Are they red? Yes. I'm giggly and the donuts look yummy, but I pass them right by. I get to THE LINE. Oh yes, it's quite a line and I am the 5th, behind four men. One was swaying where he stood and the man behind him was keeping an eye out for a possible "catching" of the man in the event he swayed a bit too far. No worries, the swaying man wasn't driving, but his keys were falling out of his pocket. Good lord. I giggled and blushed as one man looked at me sternly. I guess this is a serious situation. Nothing to laugh or smile about. My bad. This milk is heavy though. Maybe I'll put it on the counter where the second, but never used, register is. I see two women have joined the line behind me. I felt their impatience immediately. Things were growing dim. The environment was becoming slightly hostile.

Loud sighs of "Oh my God" and tongue clicking. But seriously, what is taking so long. Then I hear one of the woman growl saying how great it was that the credit card machine was down. I suspect she was being sarcastic but unable to pull it off, sounded like an ugly bitch. The man at the front of the line was embarrassed and apologetic. Did he break the card reader? Was this all his fault? He apologized aloud and advised us we'd best have cash. Was that a snarl behind me? That old bitch is getting on my nerves, and killing my freshly smoked herbal high. I hate her. Hahaha. Almost. Oh no! the swaying man has decided to sit down. He's feeling dizzy saying it must be something he ate. I think he must have eaten a handful of pills, but one can never be sure.

The first man has finally found cash for his purchase. The line moves up a bit and a bit of tension leaves the store. BUT THEN....the next man decides he needs scratch off tickets. He's got to cash his in first. FUCK I HATE SCRATCH OFFS! Even though I am in no hurry, these transactions piss me off. And as soon as he get the first ticket, he starts scratching it, calling out the 6 other tickets he'll be needing. The women behind me are now getting loud and, to be quite honest, down right cunty. The man on the floor has fallen asleep, and NO. The scratch off man has won another ticket. DAMMIT! They shouldn't be able to scratch until their transaction is complete. Go to the end of the line jackass! Nope. The checkout chick gives him another ticket and the cunty woman shouts that he is holding us all up. He isn't. The man on the floor is proof of that. Fine. He leaves to go outside and scratch his tickets, with the rest of the scratch off junkies.

The line moves forward. Ahhhh this man speaks no english. I've walked around the sleeping buddha accidentally intentionally bumping in to him. (he didn't flinch). My milk is getting warm. No the card machine doesn't work. The cashier is trying to explain. He's understanding nothing and continues to swipe his card. The second woman, who'd been pretty quiet, went OFF. Racial slurs about speaking the language and something about stupid Mexicans. I am horrified and my sweet mellow high has been diminished. Thanks bitch. Fuck it, I'm going to the grocery store for milk. I could use the exercise. Thanks for listening.