I seem to have been searching all of the passing days as I make my way down the line, trying to find those things there in my mind as the days slowly turn into night. Remembering when I leaned quietly in a doorway in the shade of the sun’s dark light, and had no friends that were near. With there having been many roads I have walked down and followed as far as I could to no avail it seemed. And shook my hands and head at times wondering why I was here and thought that my eyes were confounding me with the sun’s dark light being too bright-

Especially when I seemed to see the sky breaking as if on promises that were made as I walked on through the falling rain down the line. Seeing clearly at times what I seem to be looking for and that’s when breathing feels alright. And somewhere along the way, I suddenly found, and saw I wasn't magnificent though it seems I can see for miles at times, and that seems to be good enough for me.

I seem to be running in circles and no one ever said it would be easy, or that things would be this hard at the beginning of it all. Wondering if I was guessing at how easy it would be or if I should try to head back to the start? With there being hills and crumbled walls of stone to climb, while underneath these scars I carry lies a form of the truth,-

Wondering if I should believe the lines on my hands, watching as those finest silver threads slowly unwind between my fingers, or if I should believe those tales I was told that were based on; love, trust, and prayer with a touch of hope? Dreaming at times of a view that shifts like the sands of time much like those miracles in the skies that are mostly lies. These are strange times and it’s like I’m walking a fine line through the wastelands, with the Devil being in the details.

There have been times out here in the fields when I fought for my meals, and felt I never had to be forgiven for what I thought was right, even when it turned out I was wrong. I tried not to turn and look back or even look just past my shoulder. I tried to keep going forward but then again most of us tend to look back or try to open a fist or our hearts to capture all of the things we might have missed, or to finally accept the hardest parts, weaving around the dangers and the web between my fingers covers all I left behind-

While subtleties attempt to strangle me, making me unable to explain why or how I find myself here as things are found that have never been seen or known before. I know that a little insight or intelligence would put all things to right and I might be able to see things clearly once again. Yet in the dark light of the desert sun sometimes you have to fight after being a sort of a survivor and one of the living after walking out of those complicated shadows that can bend both iron and steel. Walking tall, cool, and collected down the road feeling at times in the heat that your next step will be your last one.

I wonder if my search will one day finally be over as I dream of those night trains running in the distance, hearing the comforting sound of their singing out in the darkness. Making me wonder if the angels are coming soon as I look towards the dark horizon? I know I might have done it again and fallen or hurt myself, for it seems as though I have been here to many times to count with me being the only one to blame. 
I may have lost myself again like I have done in the past and have simply asked of some to just be my friend. But then again except for a few I know that is nothing more than a dream like all the others that I have been trying to find that I haven’t yet lost or haven’t faded to smoke like those who continually appear and then disappear.

The fates are devious and will just let you down, as I hope that I don’t fall again as I look and see those scars I carry that the sun’s dark light wouldn't or couldn't heal. Here and now is where I stand and sometimes I see that strange arrival from a thousand miles away, making me want to hold on to my faith and those things I believe in-

With there being times that have me stop and wonder if I would choose more time to continue on and find those things I set out on this road to find. Or to just stop and feel the shadows fall upon me as I change my mind and never allow myself to heal my wounds? As the voices in my head, heart and body all say no.

Copyright Timberwolf International LTD: February 2015 - 3