A Prayer

I got a call yesterday from my love.

She said she ran into my boss and he asked her why I was a grump. In the last couple of weeks I had not smiled. She smiled wanly and agreed with him; she too had not seen a smile from me in awhile.

Was it her, she asked. Was it my job?

"Please tell me," she asked.

"Will you just smile?" she pleaded.

Then this early morn I was blessed to talk to my soul mate. After awhile of catching up we got to how I was. I told her of my lack of smiling and she asked why too.

Right there it all came flooding back — my last visit to my Major at the VA hospital. There was chaos in the halls, the broken soldiers in lines missing legs, missing arms, missing parts of their faces. Not a pleading look in their eyes; they are warriors.

Which brings me to this...

Why, Father, can you visit these horrors on the cream of youth? Have we as a people sinned so greatly you bring upon us your angels — Michael .. Samael .. Azrael ..Yama — to humble us, dear Lord? As they sit awaiting their names called one by one to you, do you glean pleasure in our suffering?

Sitting in my Major's office this all comes flooding back, for I am awash in doubt, fear and remorse for my deeds. I close my eyes and pray to you my Father.

Be merciful to us my Father,
With your constant love for your children.
Because of your great mercy, wipe away your children's sins.
Wash me as you wash them, my Father, of our evils.
~ Amen

And with this, my friends, my soul mate, a smile broke across my face. Bless you all that I call friends. God is great.

The picture was a gift from a friend who served with me so many long years ago.

Please read other stories from my past in "How I Lost My Way."