You were always there, around a distant corner, the far-away man, in the back of my mind. As my sister lay withering away in a hospital bed, it was you, with those ice-blue eyes, always smiling, that wit, your spark. I could see all of you, still. You were the sunlight and the rain, the thunder and the fire. You were everything rolled into one, and I moved about with those vibrations, that beautiful noise. My feet moved to the rhythm of your noise. You left me in sweats, aching for something I couldn’t grasp. For we were worlds apart until you sent me that photo. Standing in front of all those tall pines, arms crossed like the forest was your kingdom, and staring fiercely into the camera as if you saw right through me. You saw everything I was and possibly could be. You were the one with the boyish smile I’d seen over and over and over again in my sleep. And this vision stayed with me in a heavy daydream until my sister finally slipped away.  

Now, I hold the image of you in my hands teary, rubbing the screen with my fingers and wishing I could let go of everything I’ve lost and let you in, wishing-wishing you could be so much more than the far-away man.