Lord knows I have paid my dues getting through almost every time, and it seems I have served a few sentences, yet I may have done the time but committed no crime. I was just tried and convicted for various crimes and misdemeanors that were never defined in any way. I also understand that every life must end some day and for living mine I know I must pay, for my sins have been so practiced that they won’t let me win, and will one day be taking everything from me that I have either had or have made. And there are the bad mistakes that I have made a few of and somehow managed to continue to get through.

And finding myself sitting here and thinking of a Mississippi queen and some of the things she said, one time when we were caught out in the rain. When she told me not to just stand there and stare at the ground, and to promise to not ever let go even when the shadows fall, and move quickly across the floor and becoming the darkness knocking on the door, sometimes at the break of noon. So I guess that I will keep on fighting and take up the challenge that has been issued and keep on keeping on, and knowing my heart won’t let me give in.

All of my doubts are like a winding staircase with some of the steps being profound and though I might fall from grace, when the fingers were pointed at me as I passed through and saw them burning their eyes on my passage. With there being times I feel like I truly don’t need this life, but when some are standing in the shadows I try to open the skies and have some light shed down on them. Still there is no Hell the Devil can’t show me that is deeper than my own pride which I have tried a time or two to have removed and like my ego held in check. Though I seem to be running in circles and at times wish I were back at the start.

So many silent moments and sorrows that never seem to end, or hear from again, with yesterday still seeming to be a friend when tomorrow seems to be lost, making me at times wanting to hide away. Even if the moments pass me by I find there are times I can’t turn away or keep from looking back and the times they stand for, with the past never being very far away, and life is more than who and what we are.

Going through the darkness to be standing in the light once again, and finding I’m holding onto a secret that’s beyond and behind all things. I may be free to walk the Earth, with all I live for is the truths that can be found even if it seems like I am just chasing daylight to try and find some sort of saving grace. I know there is no limit to the things that can be done, and when I look in that Mississippi queen’s eyes I can see beyond what I fear inside and how she reminded me of all that belongs to eternity. So maybe I am searching for a life I have never known.

So once again I will breathe in the view and know it’s a part of me and I know I should just sit back and just let it all pass. And know its only people’s games that I need to dodge, and find that there is really nothing left to fear. And when you promise to someone it means you won’t give in and chances are taken with the possibility of coming through and not giving up the fight.

Copyright Timberwolf International LTD: December 2015 – 23