Woke this morning at the break of day on what is both the first day of both a new year and a new decade, sitting here feeling the cold as I look to the window and see the grey light of the false dawn filtering in through the blinds, which has me feel as if I were once again leaning in a doorway looking out on things that took place at the close of the year. Recalling those decisions that were made that weren’t accompanied by a feeling of a rubber band breaking or one of free fall. Knowing the reason they were made as changes were wrought and triggered by events as a long-ago promise was kept.

As those first alliances were fallen back on and strengthened like tempered steel as both pike and saber were shunned, and though I know there are still those critics and self-proclaimed saints who are still talking about me behind my back. And I heard them every day saying I need the cure of Dr. Tarr and Prof. Phether and admit they are right about all things, but then again as Dylan said about having one good friend, then I am ahead of the game by having two I can count on.

For I know what will always be the truth and what’s truly real, and nothing can change all of those things, as they hold memories of things that never happened and are the hardest for them to forget and the people they never met.

And the girl from the North Country Fair has seen all happen as we both stood there watching by those rivers of blindness, near those waterfalls of pity as confusion was added by him and them to that whirlpool of lies that sits down below us. Time might bring on changes like when those gypsy winds blow and hear them say that to accompany me is a losing game, and the road might be rocky but we will find a way as the path chosen unfolds in front of us with the signs seen clearly.

Knowing that we will rise up and handle what is placed in our way and mystify all those who judge and try to pass sentence, as those quick to judge disregard a law of Newtonian physics that describes for each action that it creates its own equal counter action, and taking care not to forget those years that have passed that have brought us to this moment that we are in now.

Sitting here taking stock of all that has happened like a state of incandescence as the sun’s dark light takes hold, with there being things that I wish could be changed and others that I wouldn’t think of having changed that took place recently. Like when I stood in the North Country Fair and saw the one who lived there as she didn’t know whether to smile or cry. Or the elation I felt from a call one rainy day that drove me to my knees to offer both thanks and praise to Heaven, and when the Jester with fire and ice in his eyes put all off when the circus was on its way into town to stand with me. Yet I still wonder if the blind organizer and his ally the jealous monk have learned or understand that changes took place?

Just as Dylan said that all would change in the blink of an eye as their requiems are now void as resolutions were passed, and still there are those times when I might be weaker than I was yet I won’t give in to him and them and things that matter. And rage against the dying of the light when the blues descend and begin to walk through.

As I find myself thinking back to when the girl from that North Country Fair and I sat and watched the moon rise, and I looked to the skies to try to see the beginning of time as the constellations wheeled slowly and silently overhead. Which has been added to that story of her which has many chapters and has been written down since the day we met. A story that she knows each line of and there are many promises to keep and dreams to share with her as we sat there, and at times, it might seem as though we looking forward into the old days and looking backward to those things that will come.

With a day that will come as we climb a bit higher that this story will be finished, and I will finally lay my pen down. And I know that Jester from the dark courtyard who carries fire and ice in his eyes will stand there with us, to see those things that we have seen and time will once again slow down to a crawl like in the dreams I write. As I take my chances and try to win and risk it all or just take the fall and stoop to rebuild it all with worn out tools.

Still there might be illusions cast by those who try to cast judgment, and they can’t stop the changes that are taking place, or bother to see how it’s merely life and life only that’s happening despite their pantomimes and charades full of confusion. And not realizing that we can rise up and beat them and be heroes if only for just a day as we turn into the wind of fortune.

As I rise from this chair and begin to play this game called life like I should do though some might slip away, and knowing at times that there is no danger unless I lose my desire and try for happiness as I put out some of the fires. But, I know I can’t change the new things that have taken place that frees me like that promise I made and kept long ago. And I know that they still only offer me answers to nothing and they are believed for the last and final time, while they try to continue with the circus they had come to town to believe that they have the event of the season still, as I head out into the dark light of the sun I know what must be done and follow where the Tao directs.

Copyright February 2010 – 1: Timberwolf International LTD.