As I stand here upon this ridge overlooking the bay through the trees, and seeing the ruins of that grey tower standing there alone across from me. Knowing this to be the place where we heard the clanking of those iron harness bells, when we both left footprints in the snow near here one winter as the blue light of dusk rose. When we met one night in the abandoned church near the ruined tower standing there, which became a night remembered forever that eclipsed even the dark light of the sun. As we broke through the ice and felt the wind that seemed like paradise, while that cold moonlight was seen slowly crossing the floor as senses spun and soared, as both of us became fiery meteors and something both universal and divine, completing all. With both of us aching to feel those flames that we were both drawn to knowing they would burn us.

Now standing here feeling those warm winds blowing, and heating those blue skies overhead as I look out across the bay to where all happened. And seeing some whitecaps on the swells from the wind and wondering if I should make my way there? Now heading towards the point and that ruined tower where all took place, and knowing that I have to do this for reasons that are buried deep within me. As I pass through that old road where the Iron harness bells were heard in passing.

And looking down towards the river that feeds the bay and it being blue instead of silver now, as I pause seeing that old abandoned cemetery in the churchyard that I stumbled through in the snow. Which is now all covered with vines and overgrown with grass, as I hear the winds whisper through the pines. Wiping the sweat from my brow in the heat as I look to find the gate I fumbled with that night.

Now walking through the old and overgrown headstones towards that ruined chapel, and having an old feeling wake up in me as I pass through the old and mostly forgotten headstones, knowing that I will finish my days ending up in a place just like this and a new stone will have my name on it, and lie there forgotten except to the occasional passerby.

Being startled as I hear the clanking of iron harness bells once again, and turning towards the sound and seeing the horse wearing them passing by as it draws a cart, which is having me wonder as I flash back to that time in the blue light of the dusk if it is the same one? Finding the doors to the chapel being still unlocked as I pass in disturbing those birds that are residents here.

Sitting and resting for a moment as I allow my eyes adjust to the light and still feeling the heat and looking around trying in my mind to recapture how all took place. As I stand and walk around and see the traces of those candles you burned in here, and seeing those places that the dust has filled in and hasn’t gotten as thick yet as well as some dust covered cloth, which we left behind in our haste to depart and resume our lives on the outside.

Smelling both dust and ashes as I breathe and taste the air here, and wondering if this is all that is left after all that we have been through? With the flames that we shared that ripped the night and brighter than the sun’s dark light, to now be nothing more than a memory that remains to like the light that’s reflected on a silver spoon? As I turn and tip my hat in silent salute and say your name aloud and offer a silent prayer to you, and walking back out into the heat and the sun’s dark light and trying not to look back.

Copyright August 2006: Timberwolf International LTD.