Lying here so close to death has kept my mind focused on the most significant moments of my life. My wedding day, the births of my children, the death of one, so many family members come and gone in my life and us left wondering why they died so soon. I now lie where each of them lied ... my mind occupied with the same thoughts of what came to be, what should have been, and what was never meant to be. Somehow though, of every fond or tragic memory that comes to mind, they all seem dull and trivial when compared to a simple train ride so many years ago, a conversation on that train ride that continues to resonate through me to this final day.

I never thought the same feeling would come to me again and especially not now, but here it is; the same surreal feeling that shrouded that train ride, and the same that radiated from the most important man I ever met has returned, and with it I assume, is him.

A soft knock sounds from the hospital room door, almost inaudible to anyone else, but deafening in my ears. My teary eyed wife of forty three years, Cynthia, rises from her regular place by my bedside to see who it could possibly be. I never told her of my experience on that train, knowing she would only be worried for me, mentally and spiritually, and mostly to protect her from an overwhelming reality that would have crippled her for life. The devil as we do not know him walks the Earth.

The door glides silently open and before her stands the same tall, confident man I met a lifetime ago, aged not a day, and radiating that same approachability that had lured me in. Nothing sinister comes from him, no sense of dread or danger, only a mysterious hospitality that would have drawn anyone to him. His smile beams down at my wife and I can practically sense the same coming from her. He extends his hand and places it sympathetically on my wife's fragile shoulder, and speaks the same voice I've been hearing for so long.

"My sincerest condolences ma'am; I understand the stress well, having experienced the hardship of saying goodbye more than once. I am an old friend of your husbands. I may not look it, but he and I have known each other much longer that it would seem possible. I received the news and feel I made it just in time. It would be most hospitable to have just a few moments with him to catch up on lost times."

That voice, that articulate voice that could only ring so well when spoken by someone not of this Earth, has even me sinking peacefully into my bed. I do not hear my wife's response, but don't need to for soon the only ones remaining in this room are myself and the devil himself. He glides across the room and takes my wife's usual seat. Do his feet even touch the ground? How does he look so familiar in that chair as if he's been sitting here all along? Perhaps he has. His hand now rests on my fragile shoulder, but the touch goes deeper, as if he is resting it upon my very soul. He's not just here for me now, but here for after as well.

"The years have no doubt been pleasant for you. Your children have grown to be quite successful themselves, the real pride of your loins, if that saying still holds significance today. It has been a very long time since we last met; much longer for me I would suppose, for I've done a share of my own traveling, seeing how things would unfold in different ways. You may oppose my decision to ask your wife to give us privacy, but I've seen the two paths and it is in her best interest that she is not present when you pass."

I have half a mind to reach out and strike him, but my arms are much too weak and he is already working to contain my anger. I open my mouth to reply, my voice much weaker and harsher than the last time I spoke to him.

"I suppose you have more reason to be here than to say some fond farewells to an old man you only met once. We don't exactly have much history."

His eyes gleam at the sound of my retort and he begins once more.

"But we do, my old friend. Our history has grown quite extensive since that first meeting. Our talk was the biggest stepping stone to set everything in motion. I've done more than traveling, my good man. I've lived life amongst you all and have seen what wonders I could bring to you all, so many more than my father ever sought to do. His time is drawing to an end, which leaves me to continue his work. My brother Michael is much too vengeful to hold such authority responsibly. I always was the smarter one, not to be intentionally brash."

Yes, he is brash and yes, he is very smart, but behind it all, through the eyes, I see such age, age that you could not find anywhere in life other than in the eyes of a being that has lived since the beginning. So vast, too vast to be comprehended now or ever. Somewhere in there though, must be darkness.

"I've seen my futures, my friend, and I've shown them to those who have influenced me the most. I show them the future, the future that is most important to my endeavors, and they've all seen what's to come. No one has seen it the exact way; some see a world of fire and destruction, the very earth they once walked scorching, while others see prosperity and success, a new era in humanity, and a very bright one at that. Some, though, see only darkness."

There it was, that darkness. I knew it lurked somewhere, somewhere so deep it took me my entire life to finally fish it out and bring it to the surface. He does not seem upset or violated in any way though, which is unsettling. A being like him could easily see what I've found by looking into my mind, just as I know he did long ago. Suddenly, both hands are upon my shoulders and I almost flinch away until I see the kind sincerity in those vast, but dark, eyes.

"I want you all to be free and safe. Safe from our pestering and probing, especially of your minds, so I've barred us all from looking in."

He's locked himself out; he has changed in a way. He appears as young as ever, but is definitely much, much older than on the train. His ambition from then has been replaced by absolute surety and confidence in his conquest. It's almost as if I can see his mind!

"Do you like what you see?"

He knows.

"I knew you'd be tempted, so I let you in. Look beyond the empty darkness to the clear dawn beyond it, and see what I really am. One of you. I am one of you now, as much as I could ever be. I am you, your God, which makes you as much God as me. We all bear the same image, do we not? We are all God in a sense. God is one and all, and all are one God."

I feel his hands tighten on me, my soul. The time is coming so fast I'm not sure if I'm ready.

"Look now, look deep and see the future I give to you. You're different than the others; you are the one that sees the true future, the future to be."

I can feel the smile radiating from him, the happiness, and for a moment, a brief moment, I feel it too.

All in one instant I glance over all of existence as it will be under him, our lord. So much ambition, so many people praising him, his mark left across all of reality, such tranquility. For a moment, I actually smile.

I soon see though, that the clear dawn is really the darkness. I do not see myself, obviously, but neither do I see my family, or my friends, none of them. I only see what he wants. His future, and only his, with no one else considered. Worst of all, I do not see Cynthia. The future soon goes dim as I fall away into the embracing arms of death. I have seen what is to come, and now see why he was cast away. I saw his prosperous future, his new universe, his way. The last thing I gazed upon should have been my loving wife. Instead, I stared straight into the mouth of hell.