Chapter 7

A Lost Soul

Meanwhile in another part of the county, there was another patient, who was recovering.

Tom wanted to go home too. The private room was silent except for the hissing sounds from oxygen fed to the room's elderly patient.

Get well cards filled the room. There were some taped to the walls and window frames. A large vase of flowers had been placed on his nightstand. A few family snapshots were scatted around the hospital's private room. Others were framed with family members smiling in them, all fighting for a place on his window ledge. There was one in the centre of the window ledge. It was of the patient standing beside a border collie with his tongue out painting proudly beside his master. Both smiled proudly, Billy sat beside a championship herding trophy. All this was done to make the room look a little more like a home setting, instead of what the room really represented, a place to heal.

Tom lay in bed, he was not sleeping just resting. The medicine from the IV was working, it helped the old farmer relax. He seemed to be able to enter a dream world at will now with its help. The dreams always the same, they were of his farm and his pastures and working the land. He closed his eyes and relaxed, he let himself go as a mist of fog began to swirl then clear.

He could hear a female's voice, calling to him. It was his late wife's voice, it was his wife, Jenny. He looked over when he heard her voice. He was unsure if it was a dream or reality. Jenny stood at the corner of a farmhouse. She waved to him, placed one hand on her hip, the other shielded her eyes from the sun's brightness. She told him that dinner was ready and he best get to it. Old Tom's eyes squinted wanting it to be real, not a dream, he hoped he wouldn't wake up again if it were.

Since his wife had passed five years ago, he had dreamed of Jenny many times. But not like this. Everything seemed so real. He began to walk toward her, he could hear the sounds of crickets, the cows in the pasture drew his attention. The fencing looked so tight and straight as if he had just had finished stringing it. The heat of the warm noonday sun was hot on his back and the sweet smell of the newly cut hay wafted around him. His dogs ran up to him happy to see him following close beside him. Tom kneeled down to pet them, but the three turned into one.

Just Billy was left. “Now where did you come from fella, where have you been now,” Tom asked.

Billy rolled over on his back wanting his belly rubbed, as always Tom obliged. Billy looked as if he were smiling, he was just happy to be outside working the fields with Tom.

The dog got to his feet after the greeting. Billy's tongue extended from his mouth curled up at the end as a child's birthday party favor. His tongue moved in and out closing his mouth from time to time gathering up the saliva. He panted under the summer's heat and saliva dripped from its end. Tom looked down and smiled. He reached down to pet the dog's head again happy to have him home. As his fingers ran through the dogs hair, he looked up to tell his Jenny that he would be there soon. The bank of fog rolled in, drawing a curtain across his mind once again. His hand passed through Billy's head like a reflection in a pool of water. Then it all went away. Everything turned white and swirled. Jenny faded back into the incoming mist. His wet eyelids fluttered, as he heard visitors enter the room. Slowly a smile spread across his face. He quickly ran the edge of his hand against the tears, the only thing real from his dream.

He turned on his back, gaining his composure. It was his Granddaughter Karen and daughter-in-law Faye. He held out his hand to the teenager, happy to see her. Faye followed. She held a Tupperware dish and a zip-lock bag, which she placed on the cart at the foot of Old Tom's bed. She smiled and walked over to greet Tom and placed a soft kiss on the old man's forehead.

"How are you feeling dad? Your color looks good." Faye said. She stood back so that he and her daughter could chat.

"We brought you some soup for dinner,” she said undoing the buttons on her winter coat.

"There are some homemade rolls that you like, Karen helped me make it this morning for you," Faye said.

Tom looked up at Karen and admired her,

"You're getting to be a good cook from what I hear," Tom said and sat up in his bed.

"I try, but never will be as good as Gram I'm afraid," Karen said.

Karen was Tom's only grandchild. He hoped for a grandson, one day, but it didn't happen. She was 17 now, tall, slender in build, long auburn hair, amazing green eyes that sparkled when she smiled. She was in her graduation year and been accepted at three universities, all of which were outside the area. It was something that bothered old Tom. He would like her to stay closer to her roots. But he would never interfere with her decisions, he was so proud of her.

Karen, although not the grandson of her grandfather's dreams, was the apple of his eye and she had wound herself around three of his fingers and his thumb. Tom loved her. They were always very close. Karen came over to his farm getting off the school bus Fridays when her Grandmother was alive. Karen helped around the farmhouse as she learned the art of making bread, pastries, the perfect pie crust and turning berries into jams and jellies. She loved his dogs and loved the way in which her grandfather got his Border Collies to do pretty much anything, he asked of them.

She loved how he used his training skills in his everyday life. She helped at feeding times. He told her about the body language of the dogs, "As wonderful as they are, they are dogs and need to be treated as such. They need to be lead.

“It's what makes them happy." His ability to calm anyone who encountered Old Tom was infectious. Sundays were special days. The family went to church together and afterward met at his old farm house for Sunday dinner. Karen stayed with her Grandparents most weekends. She got on the school bus Monday mornings with a special lunch prepared by her Gram.

Karen removed her winter jacket and scarf, tossed them in a reclining chair beside the bed and helped her Grandfather. She adjusted his pillows, placed them behind him and helped him sit up.

"Want me to raise the bed, Gramps?" Karen asked. Tom nodded.

"Yes please, I can never figure the thing out," he said smiling up at her. I thought I was raising it last night and got that witch nurse in here asking if I needed something. I said no. She left in a huff. I swear that woman's heart came straight from hell.”

"Oh you just need to train her Gramps," Karen said.

"Maybe… but for what?" Tom chuckled "Now Dad you behave," Faye said smiling at him.

"That's not very Christian," Faye replied.

"No she's not," said Tom winking at Karen and all three began to chuckle.

He settled back on the newly arranged pillows. "Aw that's better, thank you, Karen," Tom said.

He looked at his granddaughter, "I wish you were here this morning for breakfast. Worst meal I ever had in my life I think," he paused. "No, I'm sure it was." Then he settled back down again.
Karen smiled at her feisty grandfather and busied herself helping her grandfather by arranging the sheets on his bed. Tom looked over at his daughter-in-law Faye with a look of fret and worry. The question was always the same. Faye dodged it for now and talked about how Tom Jr. did with the farm and different things. She deflected for now the never ending question. Have you heard anything about Billy?

"Sam Peterson is buying a new grain truck, Dad," Faye said. She knew that would change the subject for now. Tom looked over at Faye and scolded.

"What in hell would Peterson want with another wheat truck? Damn fool thing, if you ask me. What a waste of money." Tom went over the Peterson's purchases over the last few years, new combine, John Deere sprayer with its GPS this and that, new four-wheel drive tractors. "A Fool and his money soon parted," Tom said. He finished with shaking his head back and forth. He looked over at Fay once again and added yet another jab. "Everyone knows they're not his. He leases them. Farming has changed so much over the years. Imagine never really owning your own machinery." Tom said.

Karen was almost finished with the bedding and gave her mom a smiling good job wink. She tucked in the last corner of the bedding, came around, sat beside her Grandfather and took his hand in hers. She looked at him and smiled.

"I haven't heard anything yet Gramps. The last anyone saw of Billy jumped out of the truck and was interfering with the EMT's, and then he just seemed to disappear. That's about all we know. I placed posters up all over town. No one has seen or heard anything. I'm sure we will hear something soon." Karen said.

Karen looked at him, he seemed to be so old tonight. She leaned and hugged the old man.

"Not like him just to run off like that. He was in the cab of the truck when I saw him last." Tom said.

"Gramps, the attendants said he jumped out when they removed you from the half ton. They had to keep pushing him away while they worked on you." Karen said.

Tom looked down moving his head back and forth in disbelief. He said softly to himself, "A heart attack, imagine that. Of all things that should have stopped me, I didn't think I'd get one of those."

Faye wanted to change the subject a little, "I'll go and heat your soup dad, would you like your rolls heated as well?" She picked up the plastic bowl and bag of rolls from the cart and waited to get an answer from the old man.

 "Yes, that would be nice, thank you, Faye," Tom said.

As soon as Faye left the room, old Tom looked up at Karen.

"Someone's picked him up as a stray, I'll bet money on it." Tom began, "I understand that they would, but you would think we would have heard from them. His name and my phone number are on the tag of his collar. It's been all most a week now. People aren't what they used to be I guess. I just hope he's all right is all." Tom said.

The old man fell silent, just looked out the window. Karen hated to see her Grandfather like this. She had only seen such sadness and despair once before from the old man's face.

It was when her Grandmother passed away with cancer four years earlier.

Her Grandmother’s illness took its toll on her grandfather. By the time the Doctors found the tumor, it was too late. Cancer spread rapidly throughout her body. Making her comfortable was all Old Tom could do. His wife wanted to be home. So Tom hired a nurse to help with his wife through the last few months. Karen would get off the school bus every day to be with her and make meals for them. Her mom stopped by in the evening to taking her home.

Karen and her grandmother talked about everything. How she did in school and the boys. The times, when she was little, memories of growing up and seeing her grandfather for the first time.

Her Gram loved helping Karen with her Sunday school lessons. They enjoyed going through the photo albums, stopping from time to time. Her Gram touched the pictures she loved, commented on them and explained when they took the photo or what anniversary it was. A smile beamed across her face. She would sigh, "That was such a wonderful time."

Tom hardly left the farm during that period. He sat and read to his wife in the evenings. She loved Readers Digest stories. They talked about their life together and the wonderful times they shared. At their first dance, she thought how warm his hands felt and he always had a special way of making her feel safe and loved. Jenny quickly went from walking to walker to a chair then bed. Tom held her hand and watched, as she drifted into a deep sleep.He was unable to sleep and just held her close to him as long as he could.

All to soon she was gone. His best friend, partner and wife just short of 51 years, passed quietly during a March evening, full of bright twinkling stars against the darkness of space. Tom looked up at them. He never felt so alone among them.

When Billy came in his life, the old man took a new interest in life. Billy never left his side. Tom worked with him everyday always teaching him little tricks and slowly introduced him to herding cows and sheep, he was a natural. Tom's little Border Collie pup was quick to learn and love to please Tom. Karen understood the bond they had developed and Billy kept him going. Tom had been the reason Billy was here in the first place he had saved Billy at birth.

Karen Took his hand tightly, leaned close to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

" But I'm sure wherever Billy is, someone is taking care of him. You will see, he's so special.

"He'll be fine, don't you worry, we will find him." Karen said.

The old man wrapped his large arm around his granddaughter and patted the side of her head. His eyes moistened again. "I love you, Karen. You always know just the thing to say and the time to say it. Promise me something?" Tom said.

"Anything Gramps." Karen said. She looked into his eyes as she removed a tear from her eye with her fingertip.

"Don't you ever change your ways. Stay this way, you remind me so much of your Grandmother." Tom said.

"I promise." said Karen. She brushed a tear from the corner of her Grandfather's eye, wiped it off on his hospital gown and placed a kiss on the old man's cheek. She smiled at him, laid her head back on his shoulder and cuddled into him,

"We're getting all mushy tonight aren't we Gramps?" Karen asked.

"Yes Karen, I think we are." said Tom.

Faye came back in the room with a tray of steaming hot soup and warmed dinner rolls.