I spent my youth on the East Side of town, cruising the streets and feeling high on what was stowed in my glove box and trunk. My passengers were serious dudes and I smoothly ferried them around so they could deal our crystal cargo in clip joints and in pubs. We hit the money big time and got treated with utmost respect, no wayward kid ever dared to scrape a coin along my fancy paintwork.

My livery still shines like a diamond and folks still get jumpy when they see me coming up fast in their rear view mirror. They know what's under my hood, they know my reputation and it's not for being nice and polite on the road. You don't need to be nice when you're the one packing all the power. Although, I'm a charmer to the ladies, of course.

"I love this car," says a sweet, sexy voice. "It's got character."

That's right, babe. I'm full of history and you just became part of it, you're the finest beauty ever to enjoy my comfy rear seat. God's honest truth, you look spectacular back there. I'd love to offer you a drink, only my cocktail compartment has been dry for quite a while now. Feel free to put your feet up on my upholstery, though. I'll be only too flattered if you make yourself at home.

"The police impounded it," says the familiar redhead gripping my wheel. She's cute and I don't mind playing tame for her. "My dad got it cheap at a proceeds of crime auction."

"Really?" Says the nervy, little blonde also sat upfront. "Are you insured for it?"

"Of course I'm insured. Dad lets me drive it all the time."

Liar. Although, legal formalities never stop our fun, the cheeky fox grabs my spare keys the moment her dad turns his back. We head for the open road, where she's learned enough already to know when to keep me purring and when to free the wild cat.

So relax and don't worry your pretty, little head, blondie. I've hardly ever been legal and I'm not planning on ending my days wrapped around a tree with you three lovelies all messed up inside of me. Your friend drives me just fine and her foot sure feels good pressing down on my throttle.

She's doing exactly the right thing and staying well within her limits when we come to take sharp curves. My revs are dropped off on approach, and then it's nice and steady when she gives me some more foot. I'm little more than growling through the bends.

But when we hit the straights... It's settle back, young ladies. Let my soft leather caress you, and I'll show you how a real car loves to roar.

Floor me, baby. Floor me.

"Oh wow!"

I was built to lead a full life.

Okay, it's no longer like the gang days with getaways and chases, but I can still thrill the girls with my power and finesse. I'm one proud Jaguar and there's plenty more miles in me yet.

Drive safely, and never push your luck unless you have to.

~

XJay x